http://fuckedforum.com/bbs/
Sorry about that.
-The Greeter
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I am not a Troll! I'm being attacked at Fucked Forum!
I will be keeping this post comparitively short and I promise to post some good shit in the next few days (I'll offer up a few coming attractions at the end of this post, true stories and observations, I will entertain, shock, and amaze you).
Do me a favor, if you haven't done so yet, go over to http://fuckedforum/bbs/ (I'm not sure if that link will work, I'm not very bright inthe ways of technology), and look at the thread called "I'm a WalMart greeter, ask me anything!" (my handle over there is; U Need a Buggy) and tell me what you think.
I'm currently under attack over there, being accused of trolling.
I am not a Troll, I can understand how people may believe I'm trolling, if I were reading my stories as a casual observer, I'd probably be calling bullshit too.
I can't fully explain my motivation for starting the thread (I started this blog at the suggestion of a poster in that thread who even linked me to Blogspot), I guess I just needed a place to vent, kind of like primal scream therapy.
I've really enjoyed using that thread, venting my anger and frustration, but now I find myself being assaulted by amatuer troll busters, people are trying to get me to post pics, and trick me into revealing PI. It's beginning to piss me off!
I admit that I'm an aspiring writer, that I'd like to make a good living off my words and ideas.
I also don't really know if I'm capable of writing books, I have difficulty staying focused long enough to write the stories I post. I've written as much as 3 chapters only to throw them away when I re-read them a few days later. I may/ may not be my worst critic.
Part of me posting these stories isto get feedback, one of the things I'd like to write isan autobiography, it wasn't my original intent,but I decided I may as well gauge reaction to my true stories since I was already there and already posting the stories anyway.
The response on the board had been generally positive until a few days ago.
Let me say this one more time;
Unless I say different The stories I post are true. I will write fictional stories on this blog, but I'll tell you so when I do. When I post stories told to me as factual, I'll let you know that as well.
You don't know me, I understand that you have no reason to believe me.
I ask you to try and suspend your doubts and have a look at what I write.
Whether you believe or not, I think you'll be entertained, that's not so horrible is it?
My main request from you is that you be nice in your criticism, post what you think, but be kind about it. I haven't done antthing to you.
-The Greeter
Coming Attractions;
My wife and I; The story of us- These stories will prove my insanity if I should ever need to, and possibly establish hers as well.
My wife's story- Her life story is about as fucked up as mine.
My wife's Family- Some of these people truly warrant a seperate blog entry, her brother is a true psycho!
The Hijacking of cab 207!- How I came to be locked for 5 hours in the trunk of a cab, and got caught with my pants down- on live television!
December 6, 2004- The day life as I knew it ended, 2 bullets and $16 !
Mall Cop Stories- Before I was "The Greeter" I was other stuff, my favorite Security guard stories and more!
What I learned as an Entrepenuer- Things I learned as the owner of a cab company
and how I came to own a vending company.
The Greeter's fear of flying-My difference of opinion with the Us Air Force on what Constitutes a cash!
The Greeter's experiences with fire- Things tend to catch fire a lot around me.
Observations, Rants & Raves, Movie Reviews, and all kinds of random shit- exactly what it sounds like.
This and more, presented in no particular order, as the moods hits me.
Feel free to tell me what you want to red about 1st.
Til next time,
-The Greeter
Do me a favor, if you haven't done so yet, go over to http://fuckedforum/bbs/ (I'm not sure if that link will work, I'm not very bright inthe ways of technology), and look at the thread called "I'm a WalMart greeter, ask me anything!" (my handle over there is; U Need a Buggy) and tell me what you think.
I'm currently under attack over there, being accused of trolling.
I am not a Troll, I can understand how people may believe I'm trolling, if I were reading my stories as a casual observer, I'd probably be calling bullshit too.
I can't fully explain my motivation for starting the thread (I started this blog at the suggestion of a poster in that thread who even linked me to Blogspot), I guess I just needed a place to vent, kind of like primal scream therapy.
I've really enjoyed using that thread, venting my anger and frustration, but now I find myself being assaulted by amatuer troll busters, people are trying to get me to post pics, and trick me into revealing PI. It's beginning to piss me off!
I admit that I'm an aspiring writer, that I'd like to make a good living off my words and ideas.
I also don't really know if I'm capable of writing books, I have difficulty staying focused long enough to write the stories I post. I've written as much as 3 chapters only to throw them away when I re-read them a few days later. I may/ may not be my worst critic.
Part of me posting these stories isto get feedback, one of the things I'd like to write isan autobiography, it wasn't my original intent,but I decided I may as well gauge reaction to my true stories since I was already there and already posting the stories anyway.
The response on the board had been generally positive until a few days ago.
Let me say this one more time;
Unless I say different The stories I post are true. I will write fictional stories on this blog, but I'll tell you so when I do. When I post stories told to me as factual, I'll let you know that as well.
You don't know me, I understand that you have no reason to believe me.
I ask you to try and suspend your doubts and have a look at what I write.
Whether you believe or not, I think you'll be entertained, that's not so horrible is it?
My main request from you is that you be nice in your criticism, post what you think, but be kind about it. I haven't done antthing to you.
-The Greeter
Coming Attractions;
My wife and I; The story of us- These stories will prove my insanity if I should ever need to, and possibly establish hers as well.
My wife's story- Her life story is about as fucked up as mine.
My wife's Family- Some of these people truly warrant a seperate blog entry, her brother is a true psycho!
The Hijacking of cab 207!- How I came to be locked for 5 hours in the trunk of a cab, and got caught with my pants down- on live television!
December 6, 2004- The day life as I knew it ended, 2 bullets and $16 !
Mall Cop Stories- Before I was "The Greeter" I was other stuff, my favorite Security guard stories and more!
What I learned as an Entrepenuer- Things I learned as the owner of a cab company
and how I came to own a vending company.
The Greeter's fear of flying-My difference of opinion with the Us Air Force on what Constitutes a cash!
The Greeter's experiences with fire- Things tend to catch fire a lot around me.
Observations, Rants & Raves, Movie Reviews, and all kinds of random shit- exactly what it sounds like.
This and more, presented in no particular order, as the moods hits me.
Feel free to tell me what you want to red about 1st.
Til next time,
-The Greeter
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
My wife's mother died Monday; A Fucked Up Day
My mother is currently dying of cancer, about three weeks ago we had to go to her, we'd been led to believe she was at death's door by my (hopefully) well-meaning aunt.
She is still with us but her time is short. Very short.
This is not exactly on topic, (a story for another day), but I tell you so you'll understand my frame of mind when the phone rang at about 9pm Monday night.
When the rang and I saw the out of state # in the caller ID, I told my CSM that I needed a few minutes even as I answered it. Walking outside, I was preparing myself for the news that my mom had finally passed.
The voice of my wife's aunt filled me with relief, for a few seconds, until I realized that for her to call me at all (we're not on especially good terms) also meant bad news.
I asked if it was her mom or her brother, it could go either way.
Her mother a 77 year old widow with diabetes, diagnosed with congestive heart failure 18 months ago.
Her brother is a 48 year old professional inmate, paroled last year from a 25 year prison sentence, earned for beating his own father into a massive stroke over $100 10 years ago (At that time, he just completed a prison sentence for doing the same thing). An O.G. banger, he survived being shot EIGHT times last year (I'm obviously not the only one who believes the world would be a better place without him in it). He's the one I point to and say; "at least I'm not __________", you know what I mean? ( my wife and her family will be discussed at length in a future entry, truely interesting/fascinating/frightening stories)
My money was on her brother, wrong again. Her heart had simply stopped, she'd died quietly in her sleep. Her aunt called me asking that I break the news gently, face to face.
She took it fairly well, all things considered.
I put her on the Greyhound yesterday afternoon, a 1300 mile, 28 hour odyssey to L.A. to attend her third funeral in three years. Her aunt had to wire us $300 for her ticket.
There was just no way I could've asked them to wire $600 to go with her, plus we couldn't afford the lost time from my job. I wanted to be there for her, but truth be told, I'm relieved to be staying here. The last time her brother and I were together (last year, attending her DAD's funeral) there was an ugly fight, my wife stepped between us, and he shoved her away, she tripped and fractured her pelvis. I wound up with 18 stitches in my head, I broke his arm with a table lamp.
He's vowed on his daughters' life to kill me in the street if I return to L.A., I am not afraid to die, in fact I often wish for my life to end, but I don't want to bring more hardship on my wife or her family. Her brother has a lot to answer for, he'll get his soon enough (I suppose the same cold be said of me), but I don't really think it's appropriate for either of us to go down over what is really a fairly trivial feud.
I loved my mother in law, The time I knew her she was a sweet, generous, tough, mean, crazy ol' broad. I'm told she was a hard woman, and I could see that was likely true watched her and my wife together, visiting her family was hard for my wife, her relationship with her parents was alway strained. They disliked her first husband so much that my wife didn't speak to them for 12 years. I convinced her to patch things up, so she had a decent relationship with them these last 12 years. She's grateful for that.
I'm glad to have known them, and sorry they're gone.
The Greeter
She is still with us but her time is short. Very short.
This is not exactly on topic, (a story for another day), but I tell you so you'll understand my frame of mind when the phone rang at about 9pm Monday night.
When the rang and I saw the out of state # in the caller ID, I told my CSM that I needed a few minutes even as I answered it. Walking outside, I was preparing myself for the news that my mom had finally passed.
The voice of my wife's aunt filled me with relief, for a few seconds, until I realized that for her to call me at all (we're not on especially good terms) also meant bad news.
I asked if it was her mom or her brother, it could go either way.
Her mother a 77 year old widow with diabetes, diagnosed with congestive heart failure 18 months ago.
Her brother is a 48 year old professional inmate, paroled last year from a 25 year prison sentence, earned for beating his own father into a massive stroke over $100 10 years ago (At that time, he just completed a prison sentence for doing the same thing). An O.G. banger, he survived being shot EIGHT times last year (I'm obviously not the only one who believes the world would be a better place without him in it). He's the one I point to and say; "at least I'm not __________", you know what I mean? ( my wife and her family will be discussed at length in a future entry, truely interesting/fascinating/frightening stories)
My money was on her brother, wrong again. Her heart had simply stopped, she'd died quietly in her sleep. Her aunt called me asking that I break the news gently, face to face.
She took it fairly well, all things considered.
I put her on the Greyhound yesterday afternoon, a 1300 mile, 28 hour odyssey to L.A. to attend her third funeral in three years. Her aunt had to wire us $300 for her ticket.
There was just no way I could've asked them to wire $600 to go with her, plus we couldn't afford the lost time from my job. I wanted to be there for her, but truth be told, I'm relieved to be staying here. The last time her brother and I were together (last year, attending her DAD's funeral) there was an ugly fight, my wife stepped between us, and he shoved her away, she tripped and fractured her pelvis. I wound up with 18 stitches in my head, I broke his arm with a table lamp.
He's vowed on his daughters' life to kill me in the street if I return to L.A., I am not afraid to die, in fact I often wish for my life to end, but I don't want to bring more hardship on my wife or her family. Her brother has a lot to answer for, he'll get his soon enough (I suppose the same cold be said of me), but I don't really think it's appropriate for either of us to go down over what is really a fairly trivial feud.
I loved my mother in law, The time I knew her she was a sweet, generous, tough, mean, crazy ol' broad. I'm told she was a hard woman, and I could see that was likely true watched her and my wife together, visiting her family was hard for my wife, her relationship with her parents was alway strained. They disliked her first husband so much that my wife didn't speak to them for 12 years. I convinced her to patch things up, so she had a decent relationship with them these last 12 years. She's grateful for that.
I'm glad to have known them, and sorry they're gone.
The Greeter
Monday, September 24, 2007
My Monday morning, "Better Late Than Never" movie review
I used to work 16-18 hours a day, 364 days a year, I did this for most of 10 years.
It really wasn't worth it in hind sight, sure if I'd been wildly successful, sold my business at a ridiculous profit and moved to Tahiti, I might be singing a different tune.
But Alas, my last remaining taxi was sidelined with $1300 worth of bad tranny, a repair expense I couldn't justify, especially since my wife and I were living in a friend's spare bedroom at the time, I closed my failure of a cab company on January 17,2007. So I'm a little fucking bitter about it.
When they tell you how great it is to run your own business, they sell the best case scenario and gloss over the amazingly rough road you have to take to reach financial independence.
They never tell you how many hitchhikers you'll see on that road, standing next to the smoking ruins of thier dreams, looks of desparation in thier eyes.
I had visions of sitting behind a mahogany desk in a leather chair, taking care of my biz in 7-8 hours a day with weekends off. The reality was me sitting on a toilet with a cellphone in one hand and a wad of toilet paper in the other, memorizing info on yet another $7 trip. Awake for 30 hours, ahead $300 for the day, but $700 in the red for the month. Just something to think about, but I'm getting well away from the point of this entry.
Among the things, I had no time for was leisure activities, and one of the activies I always enjoyed was going to the movies. Working all the time (ALL THE TIME) in a call on demand type biz doesn't lend itself to popping off to the movies though, so I began renting movies. I soon grew tired of paying late return fees on movies I'd never got to watch.
My reasoning was simple;
A night at the movies for 2 people, with tickets, popcorn, nachos, soda, etc. can easily reach $40, without dinner.
I would rent movies, never get to watch them, and pay late fees roughly equivalent to the purchase price.
$20 each for DVDs was pretty easy to justify after that.
Buy it, watch it, if it's great or even good, sweet! If it's the worst piece of shit you've ever seen (The Exorcism of Emily Rose), then think how pissed you'd have been to spend twice as much watching it in a theater. Throw it in the trade or pawn pile and get on with your life.
So I began collecting movies, stockpiling them would be a more accurate description though, because I still didn't have time to watch them.
Soon enough, I had hundreds of dvds, 70% never opened.
When I got shot, upon coming home from the hospital I was watching 2 a day for weeks. To this day I have 2 dozen unwatched movies.
Which brings me to "The Better Late Than Never" movie review.
Today's review;
Lucky # Slevin.
Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Josh Hartnett, sounds Like solid cast.
I like action movies , I don't mind thinking a little. This sounded pretty good.
And it was.
It's a good movie, not great, but good.
The plot had a lot of potential, but the writing gives up too much, too soon.
A major key to the plot is too easily picked up less than 15 minutes into the film, if my wife could pick it up (and she did immeadiately), that's a bad sign. Within 45 minutes I had it down, minus a couple of small, but entertaining twists. I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, quite intelligent when you consider I'm a high school dropout, and I had the gist of the big picture before the movie was half over.
The movie is entertaining, but far too predictable.
Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman are good, they do well with the fairly weak characters they have to play. Freeman in particular could have done a much better job.
Willis was stuck in a role best described as a very diluted version of his role in "The Jackal", given the writing, I'm comfortable saying that he did as well as anyone could have. That's not really a compliment.
Hartnett was the best of this movie, Hartnett was as good as I've seen him (again, not exactly a compliment).
Liu's character was a little light and fluffy for the movie, and didn't really fit the role,
her character could have been removed without consequence, but she's always fun to watch.
Overall, not a bad movie, good if nothing else is on cable, but not really worth owning unless you're a connisuer(sp?) of all roles of a favorite actor (Iam Actually a collector of Freeman and Willis performances)
2 1/2 out of 5.
Listen I know this one was kinda weak, I'm sick and kinda distracted today.
I'll do better next time
-The Greeter
It really wasn't worth it in hind sight, sure if I'd been wildly successful, sold my business at a ridiculous profit and moved to Tahiti, I might be singing a different tune.
But Alas, my last remaining taxi was sidelined with $1300 worth of bad tranny, a repair expense I couldn't justify, especially since my wife and I were living in a friend's spare bedroom at the time, I closed my failure of a cab company on January 17,2007. So I'm a little fucking bitter about it.
When they tell you how great it is to run your own business, they sell the best case scenario and gloss over the amazingly rough road you have to take to reach financial independence.
They never tell you how many hitchhikers you'll see on that road, standing next to the smoking ruins of thier dreams, looks of desparation in thier eyes.
I had visions of sitting behind a mahogany desk in a leather chair, taking care of my biz in 7-8 hours a day with weekends off. The reality was me sitting on a toilet with a cellphone in one hand and a wad of toilet paper in the other, memorizing info on yet another $7 trip. Awake for 30 hours, ahead $300 for the day, but $700 in the red for the month. Just something to think about, but I'm getting well away from the point of this entry.
Among the things, I had no time for was leisure activities, and one of the activies I always enjoyed was going to the movies. Working all the time (ALL THE TIME) in a call on demand type biz doesn't lend itself to popping off to the movies though, so I began renting movies. I soon grew tired of paying late return fees on movies I'd never got to watch.
My reasoning was simple;
A night at the movies for 2 people, with tickets, popcorn, nachos, soda, etc. can easily reach $40, without dinner.
I would rent movies, never get to watch them, and pay late fees roughly equivalent to the purchase price.
$20 each for DVDs was pretty easy to justify after that.
Buy it, watch it, if it's great or even good, sweet! If it's the worst piece of shit you've ever seen (The Exorcism of Emily Rose), then think how pissed you'd have been to spend twice as much watching it in a theater. Throw it in the trade or pawn pile and get on with your life.
So I began collecting movies, stockpiling them would be a more accurate description though, because I still didn't have time to watch them.
Soon enough, I had hundreds of dvds, 70% never opened.
When I got shot, upon coming home from the hospital I was watching 2 a day for weeks. To this day I have 2 dozen unwatched movies.
Which brings me to "The Better Late Than Never" movie review.
Today's review;
Lucky # Slevin.
Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Josh Hartnett, sounds Like solid cast.
I like action movies , I don't mind thinking a little. This sounded pretty good.
And it was.
It's a good movie, not great, but good.
The plot had a lot of potential, but the writing gives up too much, too soon.
A major key to the plot is too easily picked up less than 15 minutes into the film, if my wife could pick it up (and she did immeadiately), that's a bad sign. Within 45 minutes I had it down, minus a couple of small, but entertaining twists. I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, quite intelligent when you consider I'm a high school dropout, and I had the gist of the big picture before the movie was half over.
The movie is entertaining, but far too predictable.
Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman are good, they do well with the fairly weak characters they have to play. Freeman in particular could have done a much better job.
Willis was stuck in a role best described as a very diluted version of his role in "The Jackal", given the writing, I'm comfortable saying that he did as well as anyone could have. That's not really a compliment.
Hartnett was the best of this movie, Hartnett was as good as I've seen him (again, not exactly a compliment).
Liu's character was a little light and fluffy for the movie, and didn't really fit the role,
her character could have been removed without consequence, but she's always fun to watch.
Overall, not a bad movie, good if nothing else is on cable, but not really worth owning unless you're a connisuer(sp?) of all roles of a favorite actor (Iam Actually a collector of Freeman and Willis performances)
2 1/2 out of 5.
Listen I know this one was kinda weak, I'm sick and kinda distracted today.
I'll do better next time
-The Greeter
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Maybe not 'the funniest', but damn funny cab passenger story (by Request)
This would have been Oct. or Nov 2000.
I'm sent to pick up at a bar in Peoria Az called The Sun City Deli.
I walk in and here's a guy arguing with this hot lady bartender, completely shit faced and beligerent, so of course this asshole is my fare.
She'd taken his keys, he'd broken some glasses, she wanted him out.
I said "No Way!"
She flashed a smile that left me wondering why she was tending bar instead of living the high life somewhere and said "Please get him outta here, I don't want the cops in here."
The next thing I know I'm loading this big drunken shitbag into the back of my cab.
He's so drunk he can't (or wont) give me his address, wants me to to take him to The Escape Hatch bar. "Nope, sorry fella, gotta take you home, you're too drunk for bar hopping"
He finally hands me his driver's license, "Take me there."
The address is pretty close, no more than a few miles, I'm thinking 'Dead drunk, abusive asshole, gonna have to haul him out like I hauled him in, for $7, Oh Joy'
We pull up to the 1st light and from the back I hear/feel/smell a massive belch.
"I'm not paying"
"What" I said, wheeling toward the curb.
I ain't paying no fucking cab ride! I didn't call you, they called you! they're gonna pay you, cause I ain't paying shit!
I stopped the car.
"Why you stopping?"
"Pay or Walk! You don't want to pay, get out."
"I ain't getting out and I ain't paying you shit, take me back to my car!"
"You'll pay or you'll get out, don't wanna get out? I'll help you, you wont like it."
"I'll pay, just take me home"
"Fine"
I'm thinking I should have just 86'd his ass and called it a day, but no, this big dumb shit would've gotten himself hit by a car or something.
As I put the car in gear he tells me he doesn't have money, I throw the car back in park and grab my Mag-Lite (every cabbie should have a Mag-Lite, the bigger, the better, mine was the biggest 4 D-cell job they made, perfect for lighting the way, and on the spot attitude adjustments! Aircraft grade aluminum, american made! RA!)
"I got a credit card."
"Fine"
I turned the car around heading fora market we'd just passed, explaining we neede pre-authorization for credit cards so we needed a pay phone, I have a cell, but I really want this dickhead in a public well lit place so I can ditch him in good conciense(sp?) if I have to.
He gets out and staggers to the payphone, addressing it like he's never seen one before and realize he's too drunk to dial it. Okay, fine.
I dial the # and read the CC info to the dispatcher, estimating a $16 fare for authorization.
"You told him there's a $10 minimum fare on plastic right?"
No, it'll be over $10 anyway."
"You have to tell him, its the law now."
Well Fuck! I explain to him about the min. fare on the card and he just fucking loses it!
He just punches me right in the face, we're grappling, he's got me pinned to the phone, just wailing on me! I knee'd him in the balls and ran for my car, locking myself inside.
Unbeknownst to me the dispatcher had called the police.
so I'm lighting a smoke with a badly shaking hand when a rap on the passenger window scares the shit outta me.
"Are you free?" asked the little old lady with a cart full of groceries.
"I ain't free, but I'm cheap" my standard answer to that question, she laughed so hard I was afraid she'd drop dead on me, I popped the trunk and helped her load up.
Meanwhile my drunken buddy was screaming into the phone, and screaming at her that I'd rape her if she wasn't careful. We got inthe cab, I radioed that I'd 10-13'd (ejected unruly fare) the drunk, and picked up a flag at the same location.
Just as I'm about to put the car in gear she hands up a wallet, Aw SHIT!
" Is this his wallet?"
I took the wallet and looked inside, yup, it's his, and this lying drunken prick had at least $500 cash inside!
My 1st instinct (the one I should've went with) was to say no, drive her home, pocket the cash as an "Asshole Tax", drop the wallet in a blue box, and get on with my life.
But NO! Like an IDIOT, I get out with his wallet in one hand, my Mag-Lite in the other, low down by my leg (I'm not completely stupid), and proceed with my good deed of the day, Goddamn I'm dumb!
He takes the wallet, screams that I robbed him and begins beating me with the phone reciever, just ripped it out of the phone. Now I hit this fucker upside his head with everything I had, several times! It didn't even faze him, he grabbed the light and threw it at me!
I'm retreating, he's advancing, Igrabbed my Stungun and drained it on him! Nothing!!
I'm thinking I'm fighting the Terminanter on a meth binge!
He's got me over the hood of my my cab, grappling, I'm just trying to keep hold of his hands while I figure out how to get my tactical knife from the scabbard around my neck, knowing if I fuck that up he'll shove it up my ass!
At the same time I feel the car shaking and I hear this shrieking that I pray isn't me , I look at the windshield, and see that little old lady! She's ricocheting around inthe cab like a superball in an oildrum, the radio mike in her hand, screaming;
"HHEEEEE'SSSSSS KKIIILLLIIINNNGGG HHHIIIIMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I couldn't help but laugh, this distracted my attacker long enough for me to shove him off me, I grabbed the knife from arond my neck, slashing the air in front of him if he tried to advance!
All of a sudden every cop in Peoria shows up at once, rarely have I been happier to see a cop!
It was like someone threw a switch, the dude was all of a sudden Mr. Congeniality, just the friendliest homicidal maniac you'd ever wanna meet!
They seperate us and get our versions of the story, mine the truth, with an unimpeachable witness.
His is a twisted tale that makes me out to be criminal mastermind the likes of Kaiser Soze. I'd been padding the meter, driving him around aimlessly, then I'd lifted his wallet while he was on the phone, the old lady was in on it of course, she's my girlfriend(nevermind the age difference of like 85 years), already in the car when He got in.
He wanted me arrested, for robbery and assault, maybe attempted murder!
He's standing there, barely a scratch (well the left side of his head was kinda lumpy from the flashlight, but compared to me), I looked like I'd been drug down 5 miles of bad road, broken nose, 2 sprung fingers, bleeding all over my head , shirt torn half off, glasses broke,shakin so bad I couldn't light a smoke, no one had even asked if I needed a medic.
Then they found out he was a Peoria city planner, that seemed to change everything and Quick!
I was informed that if I wanted him charged, they'd arrest me as well and impound the cab for safe keeping. I threw up my hands and got in the car. The old lady was furious.
I soothed her best I could considering I was about to burst a vessel myself.
I started the cab, and was about to shift into reverse when;
"Son, do I owe you that much?" Sure enough the meter reads like $39.00 I love that old lady!
I'm bouncing outta the car, waving at the officer.
"What about the $40 he owes me? It don't matter who he is, Ican prove he owes me $40 bucks, and if he don't pay, you have to arrest him for theft!"
After much yelling, flailing of arms, gnashing of teeth, etc. the fellow was made to understand that he had to pay! An officer walked toward me with a $100 bill.
"$40 bucks.", the officer said.
"What? No tip?"
"$40 bucks."
"Well, would your esteemed city planner like a reciept?" I asked as I began making change.
I glanced up and saw the drunk approaching me.
As I moved my head, indicating his approach with my chin, he began hawking up a big ol' loogie, the officer began to turn, I knew what was coming next, but wouldn't have stopped it if I could've.
As the officer turned he stepped beween me and the city planner - and caught the loogie full in the face!
In a flash 2 officers face planted his ass on the asphalt and cuffed him!
The officer, wiping his face handed me back the $60 change.
"Have a nice evening sir, sorry for your inconvienence."
I laughed all the way back to the car.
"That was so exciting, just like on COPS! I can't wait to tell the bridge club!"
I love that old lady, she rode for free!
My brother was a paramedic, he fixed me up and after a shower and a change of clothes, I finished the shift.
The Mag-Lite had been bent, a slight arch in the body of the light that was subtle, but prevented me from removing the batteries, It stood on my desk until our house burned down 2 years later.
I eventually won a $7500 settlement from the drunk.
I laugh myself sick everytime I think of this incident.
I'm sent to pick up at a bar in Peoria Az called The Sun City Deli.
I walk in and here's a guy arguing with this hot lady bartender, completely shit faced and beligerent, so of course this asshole is my fare.
She'd taken his keys, he'd broken some glasses, she wanted him out.
I said "No Way!"
She flashed a smile that left me wondering why she was tending bar instead of living the high life somewhere and said "Please get him outta here, I don't want the cops in here."
The next thing I know I'm loading this big drunken shitbag into the back of my cab.
He's so drunk he can't (or wont) give me his address, wants me to to take him to The Escape Hatch bar. "Nope, sorry fella, gotta take you home, you're too drunk for bar hopping"
He finally hands me his driver's license, "Take me there."
The address is pretty close, no more than a few miles, I'm thinking 'Dead drunk, abusive asshole, gonna have to haul him out like I hauled him in, for $7, Oh Joy'
We pull up to the 1st light and from the back I hear/feel/smell a massive belch.
"I'm not paying"
"What" I said, wheeling toward the curb.
I ain't paying no fucking cab ride! I didn't call you, they called you! they're gonna pay you, cause I ain't paying shit!
I stopped the car.
"Why you stopping?"
"Pay or Walk! You don't want to pay, get out."
"I ain't getting out and I ain't paying you shit, take me back to my car!"
"You'll pay or you'll get out, don't wanna get out? I'll help you, you wont like it."
"I'll pay, just take me home"
"Fine"
I'm thinking I should have just 86'd his ass and called it a day, but no, this big dumb shit would've gotten himself hit by a car or something.
As I put the car in gear he tells me he doesn't have money, I throw the car back in park and grab my Mag-Lite (every cabbie should have a Mag-Lite, the bigger, the better, mine was the biggest 4 D-cell job they made, perfect for lighting the way, and on the spot attitude adjustments! Aircraft grade aluminum, american made! RA!)
"I got a credit card."
"Fine"
I turned the car around heading fora market we'd just passed, explaining we neede pre-authorization for credit cards so we needed a pay phone, I have a cell, but I really want this dickhead in a public well lit place so I can ditch him in good conciense(sp?) if I have to.
He gets out and staggers to the payphone, addressing it like he's never seen one before and realize he's too drunk to dial it. Okay, fine.
I dial the # and read the CC info to the dispatcher, estimating a $16 fare for authorization.
"You told him there's a $10 minimum fare on plastic right?"
No, it'll be over $10 anyway."
"You have to tell him, its the law now."
Well Fuck! I explain to him about the min. fare on the card and he just fucking loses it!
He just punches me right in the face, we're grappling, he's got me pinned to the phone, just wailing on me! I knee'd him in the balls and ran for my car, locking myself inside.
Unbeknownst to me the dispatcher had called the police.
so I'm lighting a smoke with a badly shaking hand when a rap on the passenger window scares the shit outta me.
"Are you free?" asked the little old lady with a cart full of groceries.
"I ain't free, but I'm cheap" my standard answer to that question, she laughed so hard I was afraid she'd drop dead on me, I popped the trunk and helped her load up.
Meanwhile my drunken buddy was screaming into the phone, and screaming at her that I'd rape her if she wasn't careful. We got inthe cab, I radioed that I'd 10-13'd (ejected unruly fare) the drunk, and picked up a flag at the same location.
Just as I'm about to put the car in gear she hands up a wallet, Aw SHIT!
" Is this his wallet?"
I took the wallet and looked inside, yup, it's his, and this lying drunken prick had at least $500 cash inside!
My 1st instinct (the one I should've went with) was to say no, drive her home, pocket the cash as an "Asshole Tax", drop the wallet in a blue box, and get on with my life.
But NO! Like an IDIOT, I get out with his wallet in one hand, my Mag-Lite in the other, low down by my leg (I'm not completely stupid), and proceed with my good deed of the day, Goddamn I'm dumb!
He takes the wallet, screams that I robbed him and begins beating me with the phone reciever, just ripped it out of the phone. Now I hit this fucker upside his head with everything I had, several times! It didn't even faze him, he grabbed the light and threw it at me!
I'm retreating, he's advancing, Igrabbed my Stungun and drained it on him! Nothing!!
I'm thinking I'm fighting the Terminanter on a meth binge!
He's got me over the hood of my my cab, grappling, I'm just trying to keep hold of his hands while I figure out how to get my tactical knife from the scabbard around my neck, knowing if I fuck that up he'll shove it up my ass!
At the same time I feel the car shaking and I hear this shrieking that I pray isn't me , I look at the windshield, and see that little old lady! She's ricocheting around inthe cab like a superball in an oildrum, the radio mike in her hand, screaming;
"HHEEEEE'SSSSSS KKIIILLLIIINNNGGG HHHIIIIMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I couldn't help but laugh, this distracted my attacker long enough for me to shove him off me, I grabbed the knife from arond my neck, slashing the air in front of him if he tried to advance!
All of a sudden every cop in Peoria shows up at once, rarely have I been happier to see a cop!
It was like someone threw a switch, the dude was all of a sudden Mr. Congeniality, just the friendliest homicidal maniac you'd ever wanna meet!
They seperate us and get our versions of the story, mine the truth, with an unimpeachable witness.
His is a twisted tale that makes me out to be criminal mastermind the likes of Kaiser Soze. I'd been padding the meter, driving him around aimlessly, then I'd lifted his wallet while he was on the phone, the old lady was in on it of course, she's my girlfriend(nevermind the age difference of like 85 years), already in the car when He got in.
He wanted me arrested, for robbery and assault, maybe attempted murder!
He's standing there, barely a scratch (well the left side of his head was kinda lumpy from the flashlight, but compared to me), I looked like I'd been drug down 5 miles of bad road, broken nose, 2 sprung fingers, bleeding all over my head , shirt torn half off, glasses broke,shakin so bad I couldn't light a smoke, no one had even asked if I needed a medic.
Then they found out he was a Peoria city planner, that seemed to change everything and Quick!
I was informed that if I wanted him charged, they'd arrest me as well and impound the cab for safe keeping. I threw up my hands and got in the car. The old lady was furious.
I soothed her best I could considering I was about to burst a vessel myself.
I started the cab, and was about to shift into reverse when;
"Son, do I owe you that much?" Sure enough the meter reads like $39.00 I love that old lady!
I'm bouncing outta the car, waving at the officer.
"What about the $40 he owes me? It don't matter who he is, Ican prove he owes me $40 bucks, and if he don't pay, you have to arrest him for theft!"
After much yelling, flailing of arms, gnashing of teeth, etc. the fellow was made to understand that he had to pay! An officer walked toward me with a $100 bill.
"$40 bucks.", the officer said.
"What? No tip?"
"$40 bucks."
"Well, would your esteemed city planner like a reciept?" I asked as I began making change.
I glanced up and saw the drunk approaching me.
As I moved my head, indicating his approach with my chin, he began hawking up a big ol' loogie, the officer began to turn, I knew what was coming next, but wouldn't have stopped it if I could've.
As the officer turned he stepped beween me and the city planner - and caught the loogie full in the face!
In a flash 2 officers face planted his ass on the asphalt and cuffed him!
The officer, wiping his face handed me back the $60 change.
"Have a nice evening sir, sorry for your inconvienence."
I laughed all the way back to the car.
"That was so exciting, just like on COPS! I can't wait to tell the bridge club!"
I love that old lady, she rode for free!
My brother was a paramedic, he fixed me up and after a shower and a change of clothes, I finished the shift.
The Mag-Lite had been bent, a slight arch in the body of the light that was subtle, but prevented me from removing the batteries, It stood on my desk until our house burned down 2 years later.
I eventually won a $7500 settlement from the drunk.
I laugh myself sick everytime I think of this incident.
I've got hundreds of stories, good and bad, about all aspects of my life, from funny cab driver stories, to dumb shit my wife does (her shit could be it's own blog, but I still love the crazy bitch), to commentary on the world today as observed by me as I work at the the sprawling corporate monster that is WalMart. You need a buggy?
Got a story request? Lay it on me. If I don't have a personal story, I'll try to make something up, but I'll always let you know the difference, I'll always tell the truth here (if only here), and I'll always tell you if I'm writing a story rather than telling one.
Let's do it.
Got a story request? Lay it on me. If I don't have a personal story, I'll try to make something up, but I'll always let you know the difference, I'll always tell the truth here (if only here), and I'll always tell you if I'm writing a story rather than telling one.
Let's do it.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Welcome To; I'm a WalMart greeter ask me anything
Welcome to my blog, started at the suggestion of a couple of posters in my thread of the same name at Fucked Forum.
I've never had or even posted to a blog before, so I'll be learning as I go.
I'm a WalMart greeter, but I used to own a taxi service and a vending machine business in Phoenix Arizona, I am the most completely fucked up person I know.
I'll come here regularly (daily if all goes well) and post, rant, and remenis(sp?).
Please feel free to ask any question you wish, so long as it doesn't violate my only 2 rules*, I'll answer it truthfully as soon as I can.
*The 2 rules;
1)I will not answer any question, post any pic, etc. that discloses my identity. There are nasty fuckers out there who would seek to ruin what little remains of my life, only because they can.
2)I will not answer any question, post any pic, etc. that identifies where I live. Same basic reasons. Nothing personal, but I've watched people destroy other people for sport.
Other than that, it's no holds barred, ask me anything about anything.
About me;
I am a 37 year old hetrosexual male, a WalMart greeter in a smallish town, I am a rapid cycling Bi-polar with Intermittent explosive disorder, I have been on disabilit twice as a result, I have recieved no treatment whatsoever since March '03, I left Phoenix after losing my business and home, I've been married 12 years.
I was crippled and disfigured by an armed robber in 2004, in 1990 I won 50k in the Arizona Lottery, which I used to buy a vending company.
I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, at age 12 I was gangraped by 4 teen boys.
I have attempted suicide several times, I used to be a cutter, the worse of those scars are now covered by tattoos. I currently have thoughts of suicide, I also have violent thoughts towards family, former "friends" and co-workers..
There that should be enough to get you started, ask any question, I'll answer ASAP in the order recieved.
GO!!!!!!!
The Greeter
I've never had or even posted to a blog before, so I'll be learning as I go.
I'm a WalMart greeter, but I used to own a taxi service and a vending machine business in Phoenix Arizona, I am the most completely fucked up person I know.
I'll come here regularly (daily if all goes well) and post, rant, and remenis(sp?).
Please feel free to ask any question you wish, so long as it doesn't violate my only 2 rules*, I'll answer it truthfully as soon as I can.
*The 2 rules;
1)I will not answer any question, post any pic, etc. that discloses my identity. There are nasty fuckers out there who would seek to ruin what little remains of my life, only because they can.
2)I will not answer any question, post any pic, etc. that identifies where I live. Same basic reasons. Nothing personal, but I've watched people destroy other people for sport.
Other than that, it's no holds barred, ask me anything about anything.
About me;
I am a 37 year old hetrosexual male, a WalMart greeter in a smallish town, I am a rapid cycling Bi-polar with Intermittent explosive disorder, I have been on disabilit twice as a result, I have recieved no treatment whatsoever since March '03, I left Phoenix after losing my business and home, I've been married 12 years.
I was crippled and disfigured by an armed robber in 2004, in 1990 I won 50k in the Arizona Lottery, which I used to buy a vending company.
I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, at age 12 I was gangraped by 4 teen boys.
I have attempted suicide several times, I used to be a cutter, the worse of those scars are now covered by tattoos. I currently have thoughts of suicide, I also have violent thoughts towards family, former "friends" and co-workers..
There that should be enough to get you started, ask any question, I'll answer ASAP in the order recieved.
GO!!!!!!!
The Greeter
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