Why Are there SO MANY FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE ON THIS ROCK!!?
They're EVERYWHERE!
Case in point, two examples from my own family, both occured the day of my mother's funeral service;
It's great that you were a funeral director, I know that's an achievement that took years of hard work.
Even though you fucked it all up because you decided you didn't really NEED to take the medication that regulates your laundry list of mental health issues, what do they know, they're only DOCTORS!
Just because the resulting breakdown (which wound up with you getting caught in a motel room with an eight ball and a 15 year old runaway hooker) resulted in the state of Arkansas placing you on probation for 5 years and now you can only get a job as a backup embalmer.
That's no reason we the family shouldn't be fascinated as you go down the list of ways the funeral home either fucked up or managed to screw us out of more money. I know I appreciated learning things that once learned, can't be unlearned, while mourning the death of my mother.
I'm truly stunned he didn't wind up getting his ass kicked
By the way, this was his sister's funeral! Most of his enlightening commentary was directed toward her grieving husband, sons, and his own elderly parents (both in thier 90s).
Great Aunt Gina
Gina I appreciate you coming to pay your respects , I really do, but why did you feel it was appropriate to show up dressed like you shop the clearence racks at 'Hookers 'R' Us!
And what's with all that fucking makeup!? You look like you came straight from class at Barnum and Bailey's Clown College!
I know you're proud of the untold thousands spent on plastic surgery and fake titties in the early 80s and your deep even tan.
But you seem oblivious to the fact that the work hasn't held up well, or that all that tanning has left your skin the color and texture of saddle leather!
My god, your 71 years old! Isn't it time you learned modesty!?
People, she showed up wearing a backless halter top and painted on black Jordache jeans (do they even still make Jordache? She only lacked those clear heeled stripper shoes to embody what that bleach blonde silicone princess from your local strip club might look like if she miraculously survived coke and alcohol addiction, to become a grandmother!
She looked like a mutation of Britney Spears (when she was still hot) and Tammy Faye Baker after they met up with Jack Nicholsan's Joker. She looked surprised all day! :lol:
The level of denial here is staggering! When God created vanity, Gina may well have been the worst case scenario.
Not surprisingly there was no shortage of raised eyebrows that day!
Tragedy at the 'Tour De WalMart!'
Tuesday, I was in a neighboring town and stopped in at the Wal*Mart, soon afer my arrival I encountered a 12 or 13 year old boy riding a bicycle through the store.
As it was my day off, and since I was in a different store than the one I work, I had no problem with asking him to dismount the bike, before someone got hurt.
I found his reply;'Fuck off Fat Ass!', to be about what I was expecting.
A short time later, He turned into the aisle I was in again, he began taunting me, so as he rode by, I shot out my right arm and clotheslined him!
I Looked down at him as he lay there rubbing the back of his head.
"See dumbass, I told you someone could get hurt."
I laughed and left the store immeadiately.
Sometimes things go as they should.
And finally;
I am picking up some more hours these day due to a co-worker being on maternity leave to have her 3rd child. The due date is her 18th birthday!!
-The Greeter
Friday, October 26, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
The best Funeral ever!
I wrote the other day that my brother's funeral (I'll call him Bob) was the only funeral I've ever enjoyed.
Tonight I'll tell you why, but first a little background.
Names changed to protect my identity, I don't give a shit about the feelings of anyone involved.
Bob and Linda are my half siblings, Charles is my little brother.
At some point I may tell what I know about the very strained relationship between my sister and the rest of the family, for now I'll say that the root of it is her accusing my dad of either molesting or having sex with her. I do not believe this is true! I believe my mother would have killed him in a truly horrible fashion if it were true!
The event that caused Linda's removal from my mom's will occured at my brother's wake.
Anyway, Bob was a pathological liar, as far back as I can remember, he was trying to overcome his shortcomings, he was skinny and short, only 5'7" full grown. He began losing his hair in his teens. He lost 80% of his vision in his right eye in a target shooting accident.
Bob was in short, a manlet!
He was obsessed with the Marine Corp., so much so he collected Marine memoribilia and claimed to be a Marine
His lies were epic, and a family joke in our house.
Bob was according to him, a Marine Sgt., Blinded in his right eye during the attack on the U.S. Embassy in Beiruit in the 70s. He explained away the lack of V. A. benefits by claiming that later, during a flashback, he badly injured a lance corporal and was dishonorably discharged, and dismissed his lack of documentation by saying all his paperwork was destroyed in a house fire.
He presented himself as a wrongfully disgraced combat veteran still loyal to the Corp despite the wrongs done against him.
His first wife took his kids and left because she couldn't deal with the Post Traumatic Stress he suffered from.
Awwww, Poor Bob. :lol:
Evidently he could really sell it though, he charmed the pants off his second wife, Joan, she divorced her husband for him.
My parents, my brother and myself were very aware of Bob's fondness for fabrication, and his obsession with the Marines. After my dad and I saw "The Hunt For Red October", I quipped that the movie was so good that Bob would start telling people he was a S.E.A.L., my dad nearly wrecked the truck he was laughing so hard!
Bob and I didn't have much use for each other, and he and my brother hated each other (Charlie still avoids saying Bob's name, over 7 years after his death), after my dad died in '94, Bob cheated Charlie in a deal over a car, they never spoke again. Bob and Charlie fought often Bob had hisarm broken twice in these fights.
I reached out and tried to re-establish contact with Bob (at mom's request) after not speaking to him for nearly 6 years, but I'd decided to leave him and his step family to themselves after they told me my wife wouldn't be welcomed in thier home (they objected to my wife because of her history and the fact that she is Mexican).
Bob was killed by a drunk driver on May 5, 2000, he died instantly, after warning his wife and stepson to get down and hang on, probably his only noble, selfless act.
The drunk was unhurt, but his wife and one of his children were also killed.
I went to my sister in law, and offered to help with the arrangements, she was too distraught to call the funeral home (but not too broken up to call thier lawyer, within 7 days of his death, she had 4 lawsuits in the works, against the driver, his insurance company, the maker of the drunk's tires, and the Az Dept of Transportation. She won 3 of 4, netting close to a million dollars), I began making calls, until her parents arrived and took over.
She came to me and told me that she didn't want want my wife or my brother at the Memorial service.
I told her that they would attend if they chose to even if it meant driving a car into the chapel, my wife would be there if for no other reason than to support her husband. Charlie and Bob were brothers, she was in no position to deny Charlie the right to attend his own brother's funeral if he chose, and even if it meant a battle, I'd see to it he attended if he wanted to.
My brother Charlie did attend, hugging Joan, kissing her cheek and behaving in a more civil manner than I've ever seen from him, before or since.
Joan was absolutely livid, she glowed with fury. That alone was worth going, but the fun was just beginning.
As our family began arriving, word spread of her attempt to block Charlie from the service. Mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Everyone knew.
My mother arrived, sick from chemo and radiation therapy ( her 4th of 5 battles with cancer).
In Joan's living room, surrounded by her family, mom hugged her, then slapped her hard enough to loosen a filling, then calmly turned and walked out of the house. We followed, except my sister and her dad, who stayed. There were 2 wakes.
Our family was left completely out of the arrangements , my mother wasn't even acknowledged at the service, but that's all right.
The day of the service, our family was seated on one side, Joan's family and friends were seated on the other, along with our sister and her dad.
None of us were given the oppurtunity to speak, nor even acknowledged, many people looked at us as if we had no right to be there.
Bob's ashes were displayed among pieces of USMC and Az. Cardinals memrobilia, including a complete full dress uniform including medals, ribbons,and a name tag. Members of our family began whispering questions back and forth. My grandfather wondered aloud if we hadn't somehow wound up in the wrong memorial service.
One by one they spoke of Bob's love of life, his honor and integrity, his love of the Marine Corp. despite the travesty perpetrated against him. Most of our family looked bewildered, my mom , brother and myself just sat there, trying not to burst out laughing, my wife thought we'd lost our minds (I'd neglected to explain the situation to her, she thought we were evil). Linda, to her credit at least looked slightly embarrassed.
After the service our family adjourned to my uncle's house, it took hours for the laughter to subside as we explained to the family what they'd witnessed, though many were offended deeply watching the memorial service of a man who was almost entirely a figment of Bob's imaginaton.
Joan, Linda and Bob Sr arrived a few hours later, Joan and Bob Sr. were denied access.
Linda and my mother spoke privately, but were soon arguing, as I burst in I heard Linda say the day my dad died was the happiest day of her life. Several people, including my mom and brother had to be restrained, someone called the police. My uncle and I physically removed her from the house and stood guard at the door until Bob Sr. arrived to pick her up. the police arrived about then and Bob Sr. wound up being arrested for driving on a revoked license.
Mom immeadiately disowned Linda, writing her out of the will, and never spoke to her again, though they buried the hatchet in letters just before my mom died.
Jerry Springer didn't have nothin' on us that day!
Tonight I'll tell you why, but first a little background.
Names changed to protect my identity, I don't give a shit about the feelings of anyone involved.
Bob and Linda are my half siblings, Charles is my little brother.
At some point I may tell what I know about the very strained relationship between my sister and the rest of the family, for now I'll say that the root of it is her accusing my dad of either molesting or having sex with her. I do not believe this is true! I believe my mother would have killed him in a truly horrible fashion if it were true!
The event that caused Linda's removal from my mom's will occured at my brother's wake.
Anyway, Bob was a pathological liar, as far back as I can remember, he was trying to overcome his shortcomings, he was skinny and short, only 5'7" full grown. He began losing his hair in his teens. He lost 80% of his vision in his right eye in a target shooting accident.
Bob was in short, a manlet!
He was obsessed with the Marine Corp., so much so he collected Marine memoribilia and claimed to be a Marine
His lies were epic, and a family joke in our house.
Bob was according to him, a Marine Sgt., Blinded in his right eye during the attack on the U.S. Embassy in Beiruit in the 70s. He explained away the lack of V. A. benefits by claiming that later, during a flashback, he badly injured a lance corporal and was dishonorably discharged, and dismissed his lack of documentation by saying all his paperwork was destroyed in a house fire.
He presented himself as a wrongfully disgraced combat veteran still loyal to the Corp despite the wrongs done against him.
His first wife took his kids and left because she couldn't deal with the Post Traumatic Stress he suffered from.
Awwww, Poor Bob. :lol:
Evidently he could really sell it though, he charmed the pants off his second wife, Joan, she divorced her husband for him.
My parents, my brother and myself were very aware of Bob's fondness for fabrication, and his obsession with the Marines. After my dad and I saw "The Hunt For Red October", I quipped that the movie was so good that Bob would start telling people he was a S.E.A.L., my dad nearly wrecked the truck he was laughing so hard!
Bob and I didn't have much use for each other, and he and my brother hated each other (Charlie still avoids saying Bob's name, over 7 years after his death), after my dad died in '94, Bob cheated Charlie in a deal over a car, they never spoke again. Bob and Charlie fought often Bob had hisarm broken twice in these fights.
I reached out and tried to re-establish contact with Bob (at mom's request) after not speaking to him for nearly 6 years, but I'd decided to leave him and his step family to themselves after they told me my wife wouldn't be welcomed in thier home (they objected to my wife because of her history and the fact that she is Mexican).
Bob was killed by a drunk driver on May 5, 2000, he died instantly, after warning his wife and stepson to get down and hang on, probably his only noble, selfless act.
The drunk was unhurt, but his wife and one of his children were also killed.
I went to my sister in law, and offered to help with the arrangements, she was too distraught to call the funeral home (but not too broken up to call thier lawyer, within 7 days of his death, she had 4 lawsuits in the works, against the driver, his insurance company, the maker of the drunk's tires, and the Az Dept of Transportation. She won 3 of 4, netting close to a million dollars), I began making calls, until her parents arrived and took over.
She came to me and told me that she didn't want want my wife or my brother at the Memorial service.
I told her that they would attend if they chose to even if it meant driving a car into the chapel, my wife would be there if for no other reason than to support her husband. Charlie and Bob were brothers, she was in no position to deny Charlie the right to attend his own brother's funeral if he chose, and even if it meant a battle, I'd see to it he attended if he wanted to.
My brother Charlie did attend, hugging Joan, kissing her cheek and behaving in a more civil manner than I've ever seen from him, before or since.
Joan was absolutely livid, she glowed with fury. That alone was worth going, but the fun was just beginning.
As our family began arriving, word spread of her attempt to block Charlie from the service. Mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Everyone knew.
My mother arrived, sick from chemo and radiation therapy ( her 4th of 5 battles with cancer).
In Joan's living room, surrounded by her family, mom hugged her, then slapped her hard enough to loosen a filling, then calmly turned and walked out of the house. We followed, except my sister and her dad, who stayed. There were 2 wakes.
Our family was left completely out of the arrangements , my mother wasn't even acknowledged at the service, but that's all right.
The day of the service, our family was seated on one side, Joan's family and friends were seated on the other, along with our sister and her dad.
None of us were given the oppurtunity to speak, nor even acknowledged, many people looked at us as if we had no right to be there.
Bob's ashes were displayed among pieces of USMC and Az. Cardinals memrobilia, including a complete full dress uniform including medals, ribbons,and a name tag. Members of our family began whispering questions back and forth. My grandfather wondered aloud if we hadn't somehow wound up in the wrong memorial service.
One by one they spoke of Bob's love of life, his honor and integrity, his love of the Marine Corp. despite the travesty perpetrated against him. Most of our family looked bewildered, my mom , brother and myself just sat there, trying not to burst out laughing, my wife thought we'd lost our minds (I'd neglected to explain the situation to her, she thought we were evil). Linda, to her credit at least looked slightly embarrassed.
After the service our family adjourned to my uncle's house, it took hours for the laughter to subside as we explained to the family what they'd witnessed, though many were offended deeply watching the memorial service of a man who was almost entirely a figment of Bob's imaginaton.
Joan, Linda and Bob Sr arrived a few hours later, Joan and Bob Sr. were denied access.
Linda and my mother spoke privately, but were soon arguing, as I burst in I heard Linda say the day my dad died was the happiest day of her life. Several people, including my mom and brother had to be restrained, someone called the police. My uncle and I physically removed her from the house and stood guard at the door until Bob Sr. arrived to pick her up. the police arrived about then and Bob Sr. wound up being arrested for driving on a revoked license.
Mom immeadiately disowned Linda, writing her out of the will, and never spoke to her again, though they buried the hatchet in letters just before my mom died.
Jerry Springer didn't have nothin' on us that day!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A quick note on courtesy.
While I'm already here, I'd like to say something about courtesy.
I realize that I'm paid to be courteous (I appreciate it Sam, Can I have a raise?), but is it too much too ask that you at least acknowledge my attempt to brighten your day a little? I mean hey, I'm really trying here, and I truly hope you have a nice day, enjoy your shopping experience, etcetera, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
It pisses me off that people completely ignore me, it occasionally causes me to question my existance (I greet, therefore I am, or am I?)
I'm seriously considering the purchase of a quality aluminum softball bat and having it engraved with; "Have a nice day!", complete with smiley face.
Then the first person who pretends I'm not there, I'll calmly, with a look of peaceful serenity on my face, beat them to death. Nothing personal, but you're fucking with my chi goddammit!
I wish people would just save me the expense, aggravation and prison sentence, and just take a goddamn second to say something, wave, whatever. Just a little courtesy is all I ask, the life you save may be your own.
I realize that I'm paid to be courteous (I appreciate it Sam, Can I have a raise?), but is it too much too ask that you at least acknowledge my attempt to brighten your day a little? I mean hey, I'm really trying here, and I truly hope you have a nice day, enjoy your shopping experience, etcetera, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
It pisses me off that people completely ignore me, it occasionally causes me to question my existance (I greet, therefore I am, or am I?)
I'm seriously considering the purchase of a quality aluminum softball bat and having it engraved with; "Have a nice day!", complete with smiley face.
Then the first person who pretends I'm not there, I'll calmly, with a look of peaceful serenity on my face, beat them to death. Nothing personal, but you're fucking with my chi goddammit!
I wish people would just save me the expense, aggravation and prison sentence, and just take a goddamn second to say something, wave, whatever. Just a little courtesy is all I ask, the life you save may be your own.
I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just a super quick note to let y'all know I'm home, safe though not exactly sound.
I fuckin' hate funerals, HATE THEM!!!!! And this one more than any other I've ever attended.
I believe I'll blow mine off, head for the bar instead.
I will one day soon tell you of the one and only funeral I ever truly enjoyed, my brother's.
Not because I didn't love him, we did not get along, but I did love him, hated his wife, still do, now more than ever, that's another story. But because of the nuggets of pure fuckin' comedy GOLD mined that day.
But not just yet, my nerves and emotions are still too raw just now.
I'll say this and then I'm going to bed;
I love my mother, I miss her, but I sure wish she'd shown us kids some of whatever endeared her to so many people.
As much as I love my Mom, I feared her more than anyone I've ever encountered before, or since.
That's all for now, please don't think me overly callous, I've cried hard for her this past week, but I'm also jealous of the love and affection she so readily shared with her many friends, qualities she was pretty tight with at home with us kids.
We'll talk soon.
-The Greeter
I fuckin' hate funerals, HATE THEM!!!!! And this one more than any other I've ever attended.
I believe I'll blow mine off, head for the bar instead.
I will one day soon tell you of the one and only funeral I ever truly enjoyed, my brother's.
Not because I didn't love him, we did not get along, but I did love him, hated his wife, still do, now more than ever, that's another story. But because of the nuggets of pure fuckin' comedy GOLD mined that day.
But not just yet, my nerves and emotions are still too raw just now.
I'll say this and then I'm going to bed;
I love my mother, I miss her, but I sure wish she'd shown us kids some of whatever endeared her to so many people.
As much as I love my Mom, I feared her more than anyone I've ever encountered before, or since.
That's all for now, please don't think me overly callous, I've cried hard for her this past week, but I'm also jealous of the love and affection she so readily shared with her many friends, qualities she was pretty tight with at home with us kids.
We'll talk soon.
-The Greeter
Friday, October 12, 2007
My Mother's Long Suffering has ended.
This morning at around 10:30, my mother died.
I'm told she went peacefully in her sleep, I hope that's true.
Her suffering has ended, as has that of those of us who worried over her.
She was 65 years old.
I hope she finds everything as she'd hoped it would be.
I'll be leaving Sunday or Monday and may be gone for several days,
I'm not sure if I'll post again before I leave, but we'll talk when I get back.
-The Greeter
I'm told she went peacefully in her sleep, I hope that's true.
Her suffering has ended, as has that of those of us who worried over her.
She was 65 years old.
I hope she finds everything as she'd hoped it would be.
I'll be leaving Sunday or Monday and may be gone for several days,
I'm not sure if I'll post again before I leave, but we'll talk when I get back.
-The Greeter
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Feeling a Little Bummed Today!
It's official, Today sucks!
Just a bunch of stupid little shit bringing me down.
My mom has built up a tolerance to the pain meds they gave her, and they seem to be having trouble getting anything to knock it down enough to let her sleep.
She made a decision back in 2000 after the last cancer, that she wouldn't fight it again, the Chemo almost killed her.
She vowed she wouldn't go through that again.
Last year when it came back she and the doc agreed that he'd only treat her for pain, He told her not to make plans for Christmas. She's still kicking, albeit weakly. They'd expected the cancer to be more agressive you see, like it had been last time.
It's languishing though, taking it's time, letting her twist in the wind.
She's suffering and there's nothing I can do for her.
I saw her 5 or 6 weeks ago for the first time in a while, I was fucking shocked! She's always enjoyed shocking us kids, so I hope she got some small pleasure from that :)
She's just wasting away, as I said in my ff thread, it looked like an actress wearing a mom suit 3 sizes too big. She gets worn out by short conversations (10 minutes), it just rips my fuckin' heart out to see her suffering like this. I know that's why she'd tried to keep me away.
I'd really like to punch Jesus in the mouth right now, God forgive me, but I'm angry !
Anyway, on to other things before I start crying again.
Worker's Comp. is, as I expected, going to fuck me over on the teeth that got broke in the Lawnmower incident (see; Beware of falling lawnmowers), they've agreed to pay 12% of the cost of dental reconstruction, but I only have a year or they're off the hook.
The dentist has estimated $12-15k for reconstruction, I might earn $10-11k a year in my exciting career as a Wal*Mart Greeter.
I'm more than a 1/4 million in debt and I'm broke.
Rolling pennies for gas broke.
If it cost a nickel to shit, I'd have to vomit.
The IRS has a tax lien on my mortal soul.
Please send me soup coupons, I'll be needing them.
I was really geeked up yesterday when I published my story (I know it says it was published Monday, but I only wrote the 1st third Monday night, saved the draft, then wrapped it yesterday afternoon), and I know that I always come down pretty hard from the manic times, so I know that's part of it too.
I'm a little disappointed by the lack of feedback I recieved on it too, only one (positive ) response and one cryptic response (What the fuck does "it lacks candies and chocolate" mean anyway).
Iwas really hoping for a good response to it, I know it's only been up one day, but I'm already starting to think I've let myself get too wrapped up in another pipe dream.
Anyway, I'm just feeling kinda shitty today.
Thanks for reading (if anyone is) we'll talk again,
-The Greeter
Just a bunch of stupid little shit bringing me down.
My mom has built up a tolerance to the pain meds they gave her, and they seem to be having trouble getting anything to knock it down enough to let her sleep.
She made a decision back in 2000 after the last cancer, that she wouldn't fight it again, the Chemo almost killed her.
She vowed she wouldn't go through that again.
Last year when it came back she and the doc agreed that he'd only treat her for pain, He told her not to make plans for Christmas. She's still kicking, albeit weakly. They'd expected the cancer to be more agressive you see, like it had been last time.
It's languishing though, taking it's time, letting her twist in the wind.
She's suffering and there's nothing I can do for her.
I saw her 5 or 6 weeks ago for the first time in a while, I was fucking shocked! She's always enjoyed shocking us kids, so I hope she got some small pleasure from that :)
She's just wasting away, as I said in my ff thread, it looked like an actress wearing a mom suit 3 sizes too big. She gets worn out by short conversations (10 minutes), it just rips my fuckin' heart out to see her suffering like this. I know that's why she'd tried to keep me away.
I'd really like to punch Jesus in the mouth right now, God forgive me, but I'm angry !
Anyway, on to other things before I start crying again.
Worker's Comp. is, as I expected, going to fuck me over on the teeth that got broke in the Lawnmower incident (see; Beware of falling lawnmowers), they've agreed to pay 12% of the cost of dental reconstruction, but I only have a year or they're off the hook.
The dentist has estimated $12-15k for reconstruction, I might earn $10-11k a year in my exciting career as a Wal*Mart Greeter.
I'm more than a 1/4 million in debt and I'm broke.
Rolling pennies for gas broke.
If it cost a nickel to shit, I'd have to vomit.
The IRS has a tax lien on my mortal soul.
Please send me soup coupons, I'll be needing them.
I was really geeked up yesterday when I published my story (I know it says it was published Monday, but I only wrote the 1st third Monday night, saved the draft, then wrapped it yesterday afternoon), and I know that I always come down pretty hard from the manic times, so I know that's part of it too.
I'm a little disappointed by the lack of feedback I recieved on it too, only one (positive ) response and one cryptic response (What the fuck does "it lacks candies and chocolate" mean anyway).
Iwas really hoping for a good response to it, I know it's only been up one day, but I'm already starting to think I've let myself get too wrapped up in another pipe dream.
Anyway, I'm just feeling kinda shitty today.
Thanks for reading (if anyone is) we'll talk again,
-The Greeter
Monday, October 8, 2007
Vicious Cycle!-A short story by The Greeter
This is a work of fiction!
This is the first complete story I've ever published anywhere. As stories go, it's pretty short.
It was inspired by an exchange in my thread at Fucked Forum the other night.
Please let me know what you think. Good or bad. Offer specific criticisms if you possibly can.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus Llewellyn is a door greeter for a major chain store, you'd recognize the name, he's pretty good at it, and he hates it.
It's a job he's managed to hold for nearly two years, he knows that since the incident, it's the only job he's suited for now.
He gets around on a three wheel bike, he used to drive, there's an expired license in his wallet with a picture of the guy he used to be. He looks a lot different now.
He's married with two kids, but he doesn't know that. His wife unable to face raising her husband and two sons at the same time, took the kids and moved to Colorado. It hadn't been a tough decision, Gus wasn't a good husband and not much better as a father.
He'd had a mean streak.
When she'd heard the news, she knew he'd brought it on himself.
His mom didn't tell him about his family, he had so many other issues, she coulndn't bear to put this on him too.
His earliest memory is only 6 years old, anything beyond that is like looking through a pane of frosted glass.
It was a miracle he'd survived his injuries, the ER staff couldn't recall anyone surviving such serious head trauma. He spent 7 months in an induced coma, and nearly 3 years in a rehab facility.
He learned to walk, speak, care for himself all over again, finally peaking at the emotional level of a twelve year old.
His scars tell the tale of a savage beating and numerous surgeries, 14 in all. His head is mishapen from repeated blows from an aluminum softball bat, his body carries a mine's worth of titanium plates, screws, and pins.
He'd gone out running errands and mouthed off to the wrong guy, his assailant virtually destroyed him with a softball bat, but was found unfit to stand trial. Institutionilized instead, he commited suicide four months later.
He lives with his mother in a haze of sorrow for what he lost, made worse because he has no clue what once was.
---
Leland Poe was a greeter for a major chain store, you'd recognize the name, he hated his job intensely, only taking it because the only remaining options had been Social Security or suicide, he hadn't ruled out suicide, but SSI was out of the question.
He'd have eaten the gun already, probably within monthes of the incident that left him crippled, if it hadn't been for wife. He felt he'd let her down, and his one goal was to make it up to her. Now she was gone, she died nine months after they settled in the new town, four monthes after taking a job he hated to start fresh.
She went to bed one day with a headache as he left for work. She never woke up.
Nearly two years later, he was still handing out carts and smiley stickers, and fighting for his eroding sanity.
He Admired the greeters who came in to work like the world revolved around the job, he'd have paid a hefty price for some of that enthusiasm. But he also understood the difference between thier situation and his. Some, the seriously disabled, were at the pinnacle of thier success, they were holding down a real job. Some for the first time. greeting was a step in the right direction.
Still others were using the job to augment pensions or retirement, the job made life a bit easier.
Neither group was relying on the job for thier existence, they hadn't taken te greeter position on the rebound from total financial ruin .
Where they could ignore or dismiss rude behaviour and smart assed remarks, Leland couldn't, he took everything personally.
Leland had been a moderately successful owner of a cab company until he was severely beaten and shot twice during a robbery attempt. The recovery and rehabilitation nearly broke him emotionally. After the best rehab could offer, he was still crippled and scarred.
He'd mostly ignored the phsychological affects, choosing to concentrate instead on trying to save the company he'd built, now faltering because of a poor choice of people left in charge during his time in the hospital. In his absence, money had disappeared, promises and contracts had been broken. His most trusted friend, after engineering this breakdown, started a competing company and scooped up those clients left in a lurch by his mismanagement of Leland's accounts. Leland of course didn't blame his customers, they had no idea.
He became increasingly bitter as he became living proof that it's much harder to overcome a bad reputation than to establish a good one, his health, both mental and physical faltered as the 18 to 20 hour days took a hefty toll.
They were already in terrible financial trouble when his father in law died the following May
His wife fell and fractured her pelvis trying to intervene in a fight between him and her brother, and the seven months off work while she recovered sealed thier fate in Arizona.
They relocated to North Carolina, his childhood home, trying for a fresh start.
They both found work in a peanut processing factory, but he was soon let go because his disabilities related to the shooting, prevented him from being useful.
He spent nearly 3 monthes looking for any work at all, no one wanted to hire a cripple who's only real skill was driving a cab, the community they'd settled in had no need of taxi service, a moot point since his disabilities prevented him from obtaining a taxi driver's license in North Carolina.
Conceding defeat, Leland began the process of getting on disability, more depressed than ever, his anger flared everytime he thought about his previous stint on disability in his 20's, the waste of time Vocational Rehabilitation had been, and the demeaning, low paying jobs V.R. had found him.
When Leland quit the V.R. program, his counselor warned that with his attitude, he'd wind up as a door greeter.
And now he was. He'd accepted the job only because it was likely his last oppurtunity to stay off the doll, allowing him to retain that one, single shred of dignity.
Besides, he'd told his wife as he struggled to convince himself he'd made the right move, there's always the possibility of advancement.
His wife was proud of him trying not to give up, but knew he'd be miserable, knew also that as long as he stayed the company, he'd alway be a greeter, she'd smiled and nodded, holding her tongue.
He found out almost immeadiately, that he'd lied to himself yet again.
9 months later his wife was gone, he and members of thier church the only attendees of her service, he quit attending church soon after.
Now, four days from his 2nd anniversary with the corporate giant, Leland was a study in torment and misery, his best days were those when he was mostly ignored.
Usually though, there were any number of individual seemingly small things that drove him a little deeper into his simmering depression .
Everytime a child shrunk away from his offer of the litle yellow happy face stickers because his scars and size intimidated them, everytime he was hassled for trying to do his job, everytime he was mocked by a co-worker, everytime he was the target of someone's smart assed remark, it became harder to keep the lid clamped on his boiling rage.
He was aware that over time he'd come to fit the stereotype of the mentally impared greeter that everyone mocked him for.
-----
The day had actually begun better than most, people Had seemed genuinely friendly at times, polite, school was in session, so there weren't as many kids to recoil from him or teens and college kids to belittle him, a lady turned in a softball bat found in the parking lot, he set it next to him.
The guy looked like an average customer, Leland extended his standard greeting.
"Piss off retard."
"What?" Leland was incredulous.
"I said 'Piss off retard', go mind your buggies now.", Gus Llewellyn spoke in soft tone one might use to address a particularly slow witted child.
He continued into the store as Leland grabbed up the bat.
Gus never saw it coming.
Leland rembered the verbal exchange clearly, then nothing until they wrestled the aluminum Rawlings bat, bloodied and bent at a 45 degree angle from his hands, he'd been covered in the man's blood, but couldn't figure how it got all over him, he started forward to help him but was thrown to the ground and held there until police arrived. They were all acting afraid of him and he couldn't figure out why.
The public defender filled in the blanks for him, then pled insanity as his defense. He was deemed unfit for trial and hospitalized.
After 3 months, Leland knew what he had to do, something his pride , what precious little he'd had left, had prevented him from doing years before.
He began palming his meds, after three weeks, he washed them down with a carton of chocolate milk.
Please let me know what you think
-The Greeter
This is the first complete story I've ever published anywhere. As stories go, it's pretty short.
It was inspired by an exchange in my thread at Fucked Forum the other night.
Please let me know what you think. Good or bad. Offer specific criticisms if you possibly can.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus Llewellyn is a door greeter for a major chain store, you'd recognize the name, he's pretty good at it, and he hates it.
It's a job he's managed to hold for nearly two years, he knows that since the incident, it's the only job he's suited for now.
He gets around on a three wheel bike, he used to drive, there's an expired license in his wallet with a picture of the guy he used to be. He looks a lot different now.
He's married with two kids, but he doesn't know that. His wife unable to face raising her husband and two sons at the same time, took the kids and moved to Colorado. It hadn't been a tough decision, Gus wasn't a good husband and not much better as a father.
He'd had a mean streak.
When she'd heard the news, she knew he'd brought it on himself.
His mom didn't tell him about his family, he had so many other issues, she coulndn't bear to put this on him too.
His earliest memory is only 6 years old, anything beyond that is like looking through a pane of frosted glass.
It was a miracle he'd survived his injuries, the ER staff couldn't recall anyone surviving such serious head trauma. He spent 7 months in an induced coma, and nearly 3 years in a rehab facility.
He learned to walk, speak, care for himself all over again, finally peaking at the emotional level of a twelve year old.
His scars tell the tale of a savage beating and numerous surgeries, 14 in all. His head is mishapen from repeated blows from an aluminum softball bat, his body carries a mine's worth of titanium plates, screws, and pins.
He'd gone out running errands and mouthed off to the wrong guy, his assailant virtually destroyed him with a softball bat, but was found unfit to stand trial. Institutionilized instead, he commited suicide four months later.
He lives with his mother in a haze of sorrow for what he lost, made worse because he has no clue what once was.
---
Leland Poe was a greeter for a major chain store, you'd recognize the name, he hated his job intensely, only taking it because the only remaining options had been Social Security or suicide, he hadn't ruled out suicide, but SSI was out of the question.
He'd have eaten the gun already, probably within monthes of the incident that left him crippled, if it hadn't been for wife. He felt he'd let her down, and his one goal was to make it up to her. Now she was gone, she died nine months after they settled in the new town, four monthes after taking a job he hated to start fresh.
She went to bed one day with a headache as he left for work. She never woke up.
Nearly two years later, he was still handing out carts and smiley stickers, and fighting for his eroding sanity.
He Admired the greeters who came in to work like the world revolved around the job, he'd have paid a hefty price for some of that enthusiasm. But he also understood the difference between thier situation and his. Some, the seriously disabled, were at the pinnacle of thier success, they were holding down a real job. Some for the first time. greeting was a step in the right direction.
Still others were using the job to augment pensions or retirement, the job made life a bit easier.
Neither group was relying on the job for thier existence, they hadn't taken te greeter position on the rebound from total financial ruin .
Where they could ignore or dismiss rude behaviour and smart assed remarks, Leland couldn't, he took everything personally.
Leland had been a moderately successful owner of a cab company until he was severely beaten and shot twice during a robbery attempt. The recovery and rehabilitation nearly broke him emotionally. After the best rehab could offer, he was still crippled and scarred.
He'd mostly ignored the phsychological affects, choosing to concentrate instead on trying to save the company he'd built, now faltering because of a poor choice of people left in charge during his time in the hospital. In his absence, money had disappeared, promises and contracts had been broken. His most trusted friend, after engineering this breakdown, started a competing company and scooped up those clients left in a lurch by his mismanagement of Leland's accounts. Leland of course didn't blame his customers, they had no idea.
He became increasingly bitter as he became living proof that it's much harder to overcome a bad reputation than to establish a good one, his health, both mental and physical faltered as the 18 to 20 hour days took a hefty toll.
They were already in terrible financial trouble when his father in law died the following May
His wife fell and fractured her pelvis trying to intervene in a fight between him and her brother, and the seven months off work while she recovered sealed thier fate in Arizona.
They relocated to North Carolina, his childhood home, trying for a fresh start.
They both found work in a peanut processing factory, but he was soon let go because his disabilities related to the shooting, prevented him from being useful.
He spent nearly 3 monthes looking for any work at all, no one wanted to hire a cripple who's only real skill was driving a cab, the community they'd settled in had no need of taxi service, a moot point since his disabilities prevented him from obtaining a taxi driver's license in North Carolina.
Conceding defeat, Leland began the process of getting on disability, more depressed than ever, his anger flared everytime he thought about his previous stint on disability in his 20's, the waste of time Vocational Rehabilitation had been, and the demeaning, low paying jobs V.R. had found him.
When Leland quit the V.R. program, his counselor warned that with his attitude, he'd wind up as a door greeter.
And now he was. He'd accepted the job only because it was likely his last oppurtunity to stay off the doll, allowing him to retain that one, single shred of dignity.
Besides, he'd told his wife as he struggled to convince himself he'd made the right move, there's always the possibility of advancement.
His wife was proud of him trying not to give up, but knew he'd be miserable, knew also that as long as he stayed the company, he'd alway be a greeter, she'd smiled and nodded, holding her tongue.
He found out almost immeadiately, that he'd lied to himself yet again.
9 months later his wife was gone, he and members of thier church the only attendees of her service, he quit attending church soon after.
Now, four days from his 2nd anniversary with the corporate giant, Leland was a study in torment and misery, his best days were those when he was mostly ignored.
Usually though, there were any number of individual seemingly small things that drove him a little deeper into his simmering depression .
Everytime a child shrunk away from his offer of the litle yellow happy face stickers because his scars and size intimidated them, everytime he was hassled for trying to do his job, everytime he was mocked by a co-worker, everytime he was the target of someone's smart assed remark, it became harder to keep the lid clamped on his boiling rage.
He was aware that over time he'd come to fit the stereotype of the mentally impared greeter that everyone mocked him for.
-----
The day had actually begun better than most, people Had seemed genuinely friendly at times, polite, school was in session, so there weren't as many kids to recoil from him or teens and college kids to belittle him, a lady turned in a softball bat found in the parking lot, he set it next to him.
The guy looked like an average customer, Leland extended his standard greeting.
"Piss off retard."
"What?" Leland was incredulous.
"I said 'Piss off retard', go mind your buggies now.", Gus Llewellyn spoke in soft tone one might use to address a particularly slow witted child.
He continued into the store as Leland grabbed up the bat.
Gus never saw it coming.
Leland rembered the verbal exchange clearly, then nothing until they wrestled the aluminum Rawlings bat, bloodied and bent at a 45 degree angle from his hands, he'd been covered in the man's blood, but couldn't figure how it got all over him, he started forward to help him but was thrown to the ground and held there until police arrived. They were all acting afraid of him and he couldn't figure out why.
The public defender filled in the blanks for him, then pled insanity as his defense. He was deemed unfit for trial and hospitalized.
After 3 months, Leland knew what he had to do, something his pride , what precious little he'd had left, had prevented him from doing years before.
He began palming his meds, after three weeks, he washed them down with a carton of chocolate milk.
Please let me know what you think
-The Greeter
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Getting MAXIMUM value from the death penalty!!!!!
I know that to some, the death penalty is a touchy subject, so I realize I may be fixing to outrage some folks, but as this is America, and this MY blog, I'm going to say this;
I'm a BIG fan of capital punishment, though I have a few problems with the system.
I respect your opinions, and I mean that.
I could debate the Death Penalty for hours (I have, many times in the past), if you disagree with me, please post a rebuttal in the comments section, I'd love to hear some intelligent opinions, even if they differ from mine.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, grab a beverage, and grab a seat. This one may take awhile!
My biggest issue with capital punishment is that they don't use it near enough, the deterrent value of an eye for an eye is diminished when someone can languish on death row for 15 or 20 years, they're there for a reason, just take 'em out. We need the money and space for the next guy.
I believe that if you are convicted of a capital crime, you should get one appeal. ONE APPEAL!
But don't fuck around, cause I'm only giving you a 30 day window from start to finish.
It must be decided whether your appeal has merit within 30 days, if a judge thinks you have a case, you get 90 days to make it. That's it!
If the verdict stands, you're dead within 7 days, no reprieve, no pardon, no shit!
"But what if someone manages to pull off a David Gale?", You ask?
Fuck him! I admire anyone with that kind of commitment to a cause, but he'll die anyway because he's fucking with the system! So will his conspirators.
Odds are, if you got convicted you did it, you do hear about someone wrongly convicted now & then, but the entire process moves to a higher level in a capital case, I'm willing to play the odds on this .
But I'll give you this one, if a person should be proven innocent after thier execution, and you can point to one person who's responsible (excluding the Judge or jury), then we'll execute that person for murder! That should dramaticly raise the quality of the investigation as a bonus.
What do you think?
Executions in all states should be stepped up to one a week until we've cleared the worst of the deadwood, newly convicted would get in line until we bring the books current.
This alone would possibly deter some, but this is just the beginning.
We need to get rid of lethal injection.
The guy who raped and murdered a 90 year old woman to get at her social security check, then burned her house down to hide his crime has no fucking right to be treated humanely. At the very least, bring back the electric chair and firing squads.
I say customize the execution to fit the crime, make the execution as painful,humiliating, and degrading as the death of thier victims!
Make execution hurt! Make them suffer!!!! Make it bloody and graphic and hard to watch!
Then put it on TV!!!!
Make it mandatory for the networks to air executions, often.
Tape them all, and make the goriest examples mandatory viewing in all jails, prisons, and all other detention facilities! Especially juvenile detention facilities, where we would have our best chance of turning the youngest criminals around! Make them understand that this is thier fate, the ultimate price. And that thier momma might see it after Wheel of Fortune some night.
Get the public involved!
People should be encouraged (but not mandated) to view executions ( the high profile ones at least), better still the public should be allowed to particate if they wish.
How about a National Lottery, run like the Powerball, offering a top prize of $10,000, plus the right to throw the switch for an execution in your state,. Or you could choose to pass on the money for the right to choose which execution, nationwide, you'd like to participate in.
Tell me that wouldn't be the most wildly popular lottery in fucking recorded history!!!!
Alternately, they could encourage voter registration and jury duty participation by offering a chance to participate in an execution as an incentive to do your civic duty.
Ideally I'd like to see state and federal laws toughened in certain areas, to go along with this program;
1) Any death occuring during any crime = Murder; AUTOMATIC DEATH PENALTY!!!!!!!!!!
2) Automatic application of the harshest sentence to anyone who refuses to plead guilty.
3) Outlaw the practice of sentence reduction through the Plea Bargain. Instead utilizing the plea bargain as tool to ensure greatest comfort should one agree to assist the prosecution, ie;
Bob, who's looking at ten years for being an unarmed participant or conspirator in a crime, would serve ten years, but his choice to cooperate would ensure he has the easist ten years possible.
Transversely;
Failure to cooperate may expose Bob to the harshest possible ten year sentence.
4) Using a weapon in the commission of any crime = 25 years to life on the first offense!
5) Injuring any person during the commission of a crime = Life in Prison! 1st offense!
6) Conspiracy to Murder = 25 to Life if no one dies = death if a murder is committed.
7) Unarmed participant or conspirator = 10 year minimum mandatory sentece, providing no one is killed, if a death occurs, life,no parole!
8) DUI; 1st offense; 1 year, no parole! 2nd offense; 10 years, no parole! 3rd offense; Life, possibilty of Parole after 50 years!!!
9) DUI with injury; Life, no parole!!!
10) DUI with death; Death Penalty! No Appeal, No exception!!!
My fiancee and unborn son were murdered by a 5 time convicted drunk driver!!!!
A person was killed in one of his previous cases! His total time served in those 5 cases was less than 5 years!!!!!!!!
My older brother was murdered by a drunk driver with 3 prior DUI convictions!!
I have been seriously injured twice by drunk drivers!!
I admit being biased!!!
But think about it, drunk driving is more easily prevented than most any other crime, all you have to do is not fucking drive! Take a cab, get a ride, sleep there, kill yourself! Anything that keeps you out from behind the wheel!!!!
My fiancee was great, pretty, smart, loved to talk dirty and go to the swap meet. She'd be 35 today. Her mother committed suicide!
My son, God how I would love to have met him.
My brother was kind of a dick, but he was a damn funny dick. Left behind 5 kids.
He'd be 49 today.
Think before you drink, if you decide to drink and drive remember this:
If it were up to me, you'd die for it!
I'm a BIG fan of capital punishment, though I have a few problems with the system.
I respect your opinions, and I mean that.
I could debate the Death Penalty for hours (I have, many times in the past), if you disagree with me, please post a rebuttal in the comments section, I'd love to hear some intelligent opinions, even if they differ from mine.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, grab a beverage, and grab a seat. This one may take awhile!
My biggest issue with capital punishment is that they don't use it near enough, the deterrent value of an eye for an eye is diminished when someone can languish on death row for 15 or 20 years, they're there for a reason, just take 'em out. We need the money and space for the next guy.
I believe that if you are convicted of a capital crime, you should get one appeal. ONE APPEAL!
But don't fuck around, cause I'm only giving you a 30 day window from start to finish.
It must be decided whether your appeal has merit within 30 days, if a judge thinks you have a case, you get 90 days to make it. That's it!
If the verdict stands, you're dead within 7 days, no reprieve, no pardon, no shit!
"But what if someone manages to pull off a David Gale?", You ask?
Fuck him! I admire anyone with that kind of commitment to a cause, but he'll die anyway because he's fucking with the system! So will his conspirators.
Odds are, if you got convicted you did it, you do hear about someone wrongly convicted now & then, but the entire process moves to a higher level in a capital case, I'm willing to play the odds on this .
But I'll give you this one, if a person should be proven innocent after thier execution, and you can point to one person who's responsible (excluding the Judge or jury), then we'll execute that person for murder! That should dramaticly raise the quality of the investigation as a bonus.
What do you think?
Executions in all states should be stepped up to one a week until we've cleared the worst of the deadwood, newly convicted would get in line until we bring the books current.
This alone would possibly deter some, but this is just the beginning.
We need to get rid of lethal injection.
The guy who raped and murdered a 90 year old woman to get at her social security check, then burned her house down to hide his crime has no fucking right to be treated humanely. At the very least, bring back the electric chair and firing squads.
I say customize the execution to fit the crime, make the execution as painful,humiliating, and degrading as the death of thier victims!
Make execution hurt! Make them suffer!!!! Make it bloody and graphic and hard to watch!
Then put it on TV!!!!
Make it mandatory for the networks to air executions, often.
Tape them all, and make the goriest examples mandatory viewing in all jails, prisons, and all other detention facilities! Especially juvenile detention facilities, where we would have our best chance of turning the youngest criminals around! Make them understand that this is thier fate, the ultimate price. And that thier momma might see it after Wheel of Fortune some night.
Get the public involved!
People should be encouraged (but not mandated) to view executions ( the high profile ones at least), better still the public should be allowed to particate if they wish.
How about a National Lottery, run like the Powerball, offering a top prize of $10,000, plus the right to throw the switch for an execution in your state,. Or you could choose to pass on the money for the right to choose which execution, nationwide, you'd like to participate in.
Tell me that wouldn't be the most wildly popular lottery in fucking recorded history!!!!
Alternately, they could encourage voter registration and jury duty participation by offering a chance to participate in an execution as an incentive to do your civic duty.
Ideally I'd like to see state and federal laws toughened in certain areas, to go along with this program;
1) Any death occuring during any crime = Murder; AUTOMATIC DEATH PENALTY!!!!!!!!!!
2) Automatic application of the harshest sentence to anyone who refuses to plead guilty.
3) Outlaw the practice of sentence reduction through the Plea Bargain. Instead utilizing the plea bargain as tool to ensure greatest comfort should one agree to assist the prosecution, ie;
Bob, who's looking at ten years for being an unarmed participant or conspirator in a crime, would serve ten years, but his choice to cooperate would ensure he has the easist ten years possible.
Transversely;
Failure to cooperate may expose Bob to the harshest possible ten year sentence.
4) Using a weapon in the commission of any crime = 25 years to life on the first offense!
5) Injuring any person during the commission of a crime = Life in Prison! 1st offense!
6) Conspiracy to Murder = 25 to Life if no one dies = death if a murder is committed.
7) Unarmed participant or conspirator = 10 year minimum mandatory sentece, providing no one is killed, if a death occurs, life,no parole!
8) DUI; 1st offense; 1 year, no parole! 2nd offense; 10 years, no parole! 3rd offense; Life, possibilty of Parole after 50 years!!!
9) DUI with injury; Life, no parole!!!
10) DUI with death; Death Penalty! No Appeal, No exception!!!
My fiancee and unborn son were murdered by a 5 time convicted drunk driver!!!!
A person was killed in one of his previous cases! His total time served in those 5 cases was less than 5 years!!!!!!!!
My older brother was murdered by a drunk driver with 3 prior DUI convictions!!
I have been seriously injured twice by drunk drivers!!
I admit being biased!!!
But think about it, drunk driving is more easily prevented than most any other crime, all you have to do is not fucking drive! Take a cab, get a ride, sleep there, kill yourself! Anything that keeps you out from behind the wheel!!!!
My fiancee was great, pretty, smart, loved to talk dirty and go to the swap meet. She'd be 35 today. Her mother committed suicide!
My son, God how I would love to have met him.
My brother was kind of a dick, but he was a damn funny dick. Left behind 5 kids.
He'd be 49 today.
Think before you drink, if you decide to drink and drive remember this:
If it were up to me, you'd die for it!
An Addendum to "Greeter Meltdown"
Why Cricket Bats? Well really it's because I recently re-watched 'Shaun of the Dead' and I like the look of the Cricket bat. It's elegant and deliciously sinister at the same time.
It's wide and flat with rounded blunt edges, it's far more ominous looking than a baseball bat.
It looks like, in the hands of the right person, it could do massive amounts of really interesting looking damage!
I'm not Advocating total elimination of stupid people from America, no siree.
I'm all about diversity, I would never suggest the complete elimination of a species.
Besides, we need them, who else would we get to bag our groceries, wash our cars, or work as Wal*Mart greeters.
No we don't want to wipe them all out, 1 or 2% tops, enough to get our point accross;
"Get your shit together or get dealt with!" The brutal beating deaths of 400,000 idiots (I think some should be televised for Maximum Impact!) would certainly deter a great deal of the stupidity that leaves many of us numb with disbelief.
I know many of you have, if only briefly, considered blugoening some idiot to death with a heavy, blunt object. I'm just taking it to another level.
-The Greeter
It's wide and flat with rounded blunt edges, it's far more ominous looking than a baseball bat.
It looks like, in the hands of the right person, it could do massive amounts of really interesting looking damage!
I'm not Advocating total elimination of stupid people from America, no siree.
I'm all about diversity, I would never suggest the complete elimination of a species.
Besides, we need them, who else would we get to bag our groceries, wash our cars, or work as Wal*Mart greeters.
No we don't want to wipe them all out, 1 or 2% tops, enough to get our point accross;
"Get your shit together or get dealt with!" The brutal beating deaths of 400,000 idiots (I think some should be televised for Maximum Impact!) would certainly deter a great deal of the stupidity that leaves many of us numb with disbelief.
I know many of you have, if only briefly, considered blugoening some idiot to death with a heavy, blunt object. I'm just taking it to another level.
-The Greeter
You knew it was coming! Greeter meltdown in 3..2..1..
BOOM!
I'll be okay in a minute, just comb the little bits of me outta your hair, sit down, and hang on!
I am super pissed off tonight!!!!!!!
1st up;
I'm being sued!!!!!!!!!
Just six days after the falling lawnmower incident I was informed that I am named as a defendant in a BIG $$$$$$$ lawsuit against Wal*Mart
I have no idea what this means, I can only assume that if they don't get the settlement they want from WM, they'll come after me for the balance.
I've been advised to avoid commenting on the lawsuit or incident , so until the case is resolved, here is my final word on it;
Hey BITCH!!!!! You and your lawyers can take shove your stupid fucking lawsuit up your fucking ass!!!!!!!!!Right after you use it to wipe my piss from your eyes!!!!!!!!!!
O.K. Now on to the rest of the shit giving me the RedAss tonight!!!
Kids Gone Wild;
1st let me say this; I like kids, they're just like little people. I buried my son before he was born thanks to a drunk driver, I like to think having my son would have grounded me, made me a better person. He was my only child, I wish I'd got to meet him.
There is absolutely no way he'd have turned out like the kids I'm fixing to screech about!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd, Let me say that this tirade is not directed at you, unless you have 1 or more completely uncontrollable wild dogs for kids. If this is the case you may want to skip my blog today and check out some family counseling. Seriously, get some help, that's what it's there for.
Why do you people think that Wal*Mart is some uber huge childcare facility?!
Why would you hand off your chldren to the door greeter with a "I'll be right back, left the checkbook in the car" and a smile, however charming that smile might be??
Especially a door greeter who is a 6' tall, 325lbs pile of scars, tattoos, and psychosis??
You don't know me! You think that because Wal*Mart was foolish enough to hand me a name badge and a roll of happy face stickers, that I won't kill and eat your children before you return?
I would never hurt your kids, but I might sell them to someone that would!
I am kidding! Your kids would be totally safe with me. But do you see my point?
This really happened today, lady left her 2 & 3 year old daughters with me for maybe 5 minutes, but the kids freaked, screaming and crying like I was holding over the opening of a wood chipper!
And upon her return, she gets all in my face because her kids are all spun out!
What'd she think was gonna happen?! These kids won't look at me, smile or anything everytime I see them, they'll hide behind thier parents to avoid me (you'd really be surprised how often that happens),. How did she think those kids wouldn't be batshit insane by the time she returned!!!!? I really thought someone was gonna call the cops!
The manager on duty comes up and starts hammering at me!
What, was I supposed to grab some grape juice and graham crackers and take 'em to watch Pokemon in the electronics section!!!!!!!
So mom and children leave to do thier shopping, the kids still hitching and sniffling (they saw me on the way out and started wailing all over again) , the manager says "I only dug into you to calm down mom, there was nothing you could do."
Aw Fuck you, and her, and those screeching kids!! You should've stood up for me!!!
Whatever, I shouldn't have even expected his half assed apology!!
I see kids all day, and an alarmingly high # of them are little fucking monsters!
Sure there are some good kids too, some great kids, but they're rare enough, I'm a little shocked whenever I meet one.
Most of the kids I run into are unattended, left to run amok in the store, reaking havoc!
In just over 4 months I've already seen 3 injuries caused by unattended kids, Wal*Mart's being sued in all 3 cases, yet the store ignores these little hellions, and associates are warned not to intervene unless there is 'imminent danger', the definition of which is vague.
The company's policies are weak across the board, they kept us from getting a profit share bounus in August, with 4 (or more ) personal injury suits pending, we're not gonna see the November one either. If the suits don't get us, the shrinkage will.
I don't have kids, but I own dogs, and I've spent a lot of time and money training them to behave appropriately, and to approprately respond to authority. I spend time with them everyday, whether I feel like it or not, to build and affirm our bond.
I know kids are more involved than that, but you had them, you're responsible for them, and to them, just like I am to my dogs. Oversimpified? Yeah, but you see my point don't you?
You are the parents, fucking act like it!!!
While I'm on the subject of kids, whendid it become acceptable to dress 7 & 8 year old girls in hip huggers and tube tops?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?!!!!!!!!
Holy shit!! Why dont you get her a 'temporary lower back tattoo' outta the machine in the lobby (yes I'm serious), it's too bad we don't sell those clear healed 'hooker shoes' in children's sizes!
Nothing would make me more proud than if I could show off my 2nd grader wearing lowriders(with her 'Barbie' panties showing), a lime green tube top, and a 'tramp stamp'. Just like her momma!
I keep waiting on one to hit me up for a 'date'!
I'm waiting for Mattel to release "Baby's First IUD"!
The closet pedos must be having a field day.
How long til kiddie porn goes mainstream?!
I had a 7 y.o. boy tell me today, that he wanted to be a pimp when he grew up! Why am I not surprised?!
An employee of our store is 27 years old, has 5 kids from 4 dads. She just became a GRANDMOTHER!!!!!!!! SHE'S EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!!! I'm guessing the guy that knocked up her then 12 y.o. daughter must be pretty stoked, at least he will be when he gets out of prison.
This whole family is a write off!
Learn to control your children, quit dressing them like whores, teach 'em some values for Christ's sake!!!!!
I'm no prude but GODDAMN!!!!!!!!
Stupid people are taking over the world;
It seems to me that the abilities to apply logic and reason must be a dead art form, it seems like stupid people are multiplying like they're being hatched from pods; 'Invasion of the Complete Fucking Morons'.
No one seems to be able to interact with each other appropriately anymore.
Yes, it seems completely reasonable to walk into Wal*Mart with a page and a half long grocery list and decline the offer of a shopping cart from the mildly deranged looking fellow at the door (no they're not hiring straight out of prison, hee hee. That is pretty funny,asshole).
Yeah, you're right, there's no reason to go all the way back to the front once you realize you needed a buggy after all, just steal that big guy's cart, why not?
I'm as surprised as you are that he punched you out, no really, who'd have thought?
How long before you can eat solid food again?
So do they let you dress yourself dumbass?
This really happened the 1st week I was here, and the guy really griped to me about it a few weeks later, through his wired jaw. Ihave no sympathy for either party, I only wish I'd been there to see it.
It seems like there's no more incentive to behave like sane, civil, reasonable adults.
I have a plan!
1st, scour the country for the most reasonable and sane among us (I would love to take this on, but I've preiously established myself as being, shall we say 'occasionally unstable'), issue them Cricket bats, and send them out to randomly beat stupid people to death!
That's right, you ran that guy off the road because you couldn't put down your cell phone long enough to take a bite of your bagel? At the next traffic light you'll be drug from your fucking Escalade and beaten to death by cricket bats in the middle of the intersection. In full view of several of your fellow idiots.
I can tell your dubious, let me break it down for you;
If the 'Stupid Police' could eradicate 1% of the idiots in America, that's roughly 400,000 people, roughly the population of Albequerque N.M, not only would we significantly decrease the # of stupid people, but we'd also decrease the # of stupid things they would have done.
Just think, we might prevent the next ridulous fashion trend, greatly reduce the # of people who dress up thier pets, hell we might even prevent another 1/2 dozen reality shows.
We would also slow the spread of stupidity through breeding, by eliminating stupid people from the gene pool, we reduce the possibilty of idiots breeding with other idiots, breeding a race of 'Super Fools' (socioligists believe this was Hitler's true goal, to breed a 'master race' of complete idiots), think of the crisis that could be averted!
Furthermore, eliminating 400,000 idiots from our population would greatly reduce the strain on our infrastructure and resources, think of the benifits inthe battle against global warming alone, not to mention our dependance on foriegn oil!
Finally, It would have real value as a deterrent, stupid people nation wide would take steps to get educated, build social and reasoning skills or at least get thier shit together to avoid being targeted by the 'Stupid Police'
I don't see how my plan could fail.
What do you think?
Next time;
Getting Maximum value out of the death penalty! (Seroiously)
- The Greeter
I'll be okay in a minute, just comb the little bits of me outta your hair, sit down, and hang on!
I am super pissed off tonight!!!!!!!
1st up;
I'm being sued!!!!!!!!!
Just six days after the falling lawnmower incident I was informed that I am named as a defendant in a BIG $$$$$$$ lawsuit against Wal*Mart
I have no idea what this means, I can only assume that if they don't get the settlement they want from WM, they'll come after me for the balance.
I've been advised to avoid commenting on the lawsuit or incident , so until the case is resolved, here is my final word on it;
Hey BITCH!!!!! You and your lawyers can take shove your stupid fucking lawsuit up your fucking ass!!!!!!!!!Right after you use it to wipe my piss from your eyes!!!!!!!!!!
O.K. Now on to the rest of the shit giving me the RedAss tonight!!!
Kids Gone Wild;
1st let me say this; I like kids, they're just like little people. I buried my son before he was born thanks to a drunk driver, I like to think having my son would have grounded me, made me a better person. He was my only child, I wish I'd got to meet him.
There is absolutely no way he'd have turned out like the kids I'm fixing to screech about!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd, Let me say that this tirade is not directed at you, unless you have 1 or more completely uncontrollable wild dogs for kids. If this is the case you may want to skip my blog today and check out some family counseling. Seriously, get some help, that's what it's there for.
Why do you people think that Wal*Mart is some uber huge childcare facility?!
Why would you hand off your chldren to the door greeter with a "I'll be right back, left the checkbook in the car" and a smile, however charming that smile might be??
Especially a door greeter who is a 6' tall, 325lbs pile of scars, tattoos, and psychosis??
You don't know me! You think that because Wal*Mart was foolish enough to hand me a name badge and a roll of happy face stickers, that I won't kill and eat your children before you return?
I would never hurt your kids, but I might sell them to someone that would!
I am kidding! Your kids would be totally safe with me. But do you see my point?
This really happened today, lady left her 2 & 3 year old daughters with me for maybe 5 minutes, but the kids freaked, screaming and crying like I was holding over the opening of a wood chipper!
And upon her return, she gets all in my face because her kids are all spun out!
What'd she think was gonna happen?! These kids won't look at me, smile or anything everytime I see them, they'll hide behind thier parents to avoid me (you'd really be surprised how often that happens),. How did she think those kids wouldn't be batshit insane by the time she returned!!!!? I really thought someone was gonna call the cops!
The manager on duty comes up and starts hammering at me!
What, was I supposed to grab some grape juice and graham crackers and take 'em to watch Pokemon in the electronics section!!!!!!!
So mom and children leave to do thier shopping, the kids still hitching and sniffling (they saw me on the way out and started wailing all over again) , the manager says "I only dug into you to calm down mom, there was nothing you could do."
Aw Fuck you, and her, and those screeching kids!! You should've stood up for me!!!
Whatever, I shouldn't have even expected his half assed apology!!
I see kids all day, and an alarmingly high # of them are little fucking monsters!
Sure there are some good kids too, some great kids, but they're rare enough, I'm a little shocked whenever I meet one.
Most of the kids I run into are unattended, left to run amok in the store, reaking havoc!
In just over 4 months I've already seen 3 injuries caused by unattended kids, Wal*Mart's being sued in all 3 cases, yet the store ignores these little hellions, and associates are warned not to intervene unless there is 'imminent danger', the definition of which is vague.
The company's policies are weak across the board, they kept us from getting a profit share bounus in August, with 4 (or more ) personal injury suits pending, we're not gonna see the November one either. If the suits don't get us, the shrinkage will.
I don't have kids, but I own dogs, and I've spent a lot of time and money training them to behave appropriately, and to approprately respond to authority. I spend time with them everyday, whether I feel like it or not, to build and affirm our bond.
I know kids are more involved than that, but you had them, you're responsible for them, and to them, just like I am to my dogs. Oversimpified? Yeah, but you see my point don't you?
You are the parents, fucking act like it!!!
While I'm on the subject of kids, whendid it become acceptable to dress 7 & 8 year old girls in hip huggers and tube tops?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?!!!!!!!!
Holy shit!! Why dont you get her a 'temporary lower back tattoo' outta the machine in the lobby (yes I'm serious), it's too bad we don't sell those clear healed 'hooker shoes' in children's sizes!
Nothing would make me more proud than if I could show off my 2nd grader wearing lowriders(with her 'Barbie' panties showing), a lime green tube top, and a 'tramp stamp'. Just like her momma!
I keep waiting on one to hit me up for a 'date'!
I'm waiting for Mattel to release "Baby's First IUD"!
The closet pedos must be having a field day.
How long til kiddie porn goes mainstream?!
I had a 7 y.o. boy tell me today, that he wanted to be a pimp when he grew up! Why am I not surprised?!
An employee of our store is 27 years old, has 5 kids from 4 dads. She just became a GRANDMOTHER!!!!!!!! SHE'S EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!!! I'm guessing the guy that knocked up her then 12 y.o. daughter must be pretty stoked, at least he will be when he gets out of prison.
This whole family is a write off!
Learn to control your children, quit dressing them like whores, teach 'em some values for Christ's sake!!!!!
I'm no prude but GODDAMN!!!!!!!!
Stupid people are taking over the world;
It seems to me that the abilities to apply logic and reason must be a dead art form, it seems like stupid people are multiplying like they're being hatched from pods; 'Invasion of the Complete Fucking Morons'.
No one seems to be able to interact with each other appropriately anymore.
Yes, it seems completely reasonable to walk into Wal*Mart with a page and a half long grocery list and decline the offer of a shopping cart from the mildly deranged looking fellow at the door (no they're not hiring straight out of prison, hee hee. That is pretty funny,asshole).
Yeah, you're right, there's no reason to go all the way back to the front once you realize you needed a buggy after all, just steal that big guy's cart, why not?
I'm as surprised as you are that he punched you out, no really, who'd have thought?
How long before you can eat solid food again?
So do they let you dress yourself dumbass?
This really happened the 1st week I was here, and the guy really griped to me about it a few weeks later, through his wired jaw. Ihave no sympathy for either party, I only wish I'd been there to see it.
It seems like there's no more incentive to behave like sane, civil, reasonable adults.
I have a plan!
1st, scour the country for the most reasonable and sane among us (I would love to take this on, but I've preiously established myself as being, shall we say 'occasionally unstable'), issue them Cricket bats, and send them out to randomly beat stupid people to death!
That's right, you ran that guy off the road because you couldn't put down your cell phone long enough to take a bite of your bagel? At the next traffic light you'll be drug from your fucking Escalade and beaten to death by cricket bats in the middle of the intersection. In full view of several of your fellow idiots.
I can tell your dubious, let me break it down for you;
If the 'Stupid Police' could eradicate 1% of the idiots in America, that's roughly 400,000 people, roughly the population of Albequerque N.M, not only would we significantly decrease the # of stupid people, but we'd also decrease the # of stupid things they would have done.
Just think, we might prevent the next ridulous fashion trend, greatly reduce the # of people who dress up thier pets, hell we might even prevent another 1/2 dozen reality shows.
We would also slow the spread of stupidity through breeding, by eliminating stupid people from the gene pool, we reduce the possibilty of idiots breeding with other idiots, breeding a race of 'Super Fools' (socioligists believe this was Hitler's true goal, to breed a 'master race' of complete idiots), think of the crisis that could be averted!
Furthermore, eliminating 400,000 idiots from our population would greatly reduce the strain on our infrastructure and resources, think of the benifits inthe battle against global warming alone, not to mention our dependance on foriegn oil!
Finally, It would have real value as a deterrent, stupid people nation wide would take steps to get educated, build social and reasoning skills or at least get thier shit together to avoid being targeted by the 'Stupid Police'
I don't see how my plan could fail.
What do you think?
Next time;
Getting Maximum value out of the death penalty! (Seroiously)
- The Greeter
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Re; My wife
Something I wanted to say that I forgot to say yesterday but feel is extremely important.
My wife as of today, has been clean and sober for 1year, 2months, and 4 days.
-The Greeter
My wife as of today, has been clean and sober for 1year, 2months, and 4 days.
-The Greeter
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The story of us; My Wife, How we met, and WTF!
I'm feeling unusually lucid today, and so I think it's a good time to post the promised story of how I met and came to marry my wife.
I wanted to wait to post this until I was in a lucid period because I want you to understand what keeps us together despite the long rants I've posted about her on Fucked Forum and the ones that will eventually (I'm sure) post here.
I love my wife, I really do, and she loves me with a fierce loyalty and determinination that I certainly do not deserve. Truth is I've been quite the fucking asshole!
I met my wife in July 1994, she was basicly homeless, her survival depending on what she could steal. She was a crack smoking hardcore drunk, but I didn't know that yet.
Back then, The Greeter was The Security Guard (this was after I was The Used Car Salesman and The Vending Machine Guy), and the 1st time I met my wife was when I arrested her for shoplifting. I felt something like sympathy for her and kicked her loose before the cops arrived to lock her up, telling her not to come back to the store. I told the police she'd escaped custody.
She began coming around to see me (but never set foot in the store again), after 3 or 4 times I worked up the guts to ask her out (I'd never been a ladies' man and even after more years since I'd buried my fiancee and our son, the pain was still fresh), she agreed.
I picked her up at the 2 bedroom apartment where she was staying with a woman and 8 of her 10 kids(seriously) and thier dog, after just the few minutes I was there, I could plainly see that they treated that mongrel dog better than her. I was freaked by how badly they treated her.
We went out, Hot Dogs and the Jeff Bridges movie "Blown Away", I was alittle upset that she fell asleep during the movie. My mind was still reeling at the way thy were berating and abusing her
She stayed the night, and my judgement was colored further by that.
When I took her home the next day, the people she stayed with were furious about losing thier baysitter/housekeeper/slave for half the day.
She walked me to my truck and I told her to quietly pack her stuff, I'd put her up while she got her shit together.
That was more than 13 years ago.
She was 36 (but claimed 35) when I met her, I was 24 (she claims she wouldn't have gone out with me had she known).
I learned that she'd lost her husband a couple of years prior, and that she'd been living in the streets since then.
She spent most of a year in prison in California for a burglary her husband commited because she didn't want him to die in prison.
I learned that she been an alcohol and drug abuser (pot and crack) since was in her late 20s, but before that she been the guardian of her niece. The girls mother refused to grant her custody and took her away. Less than a year later the girl was dead, the victim of child abuse at the hands of her mother's boyfriend. My future wife began drinking to drown her sorrow, she didn't stop for most of 20 years.
She met her 1st husband in a super market and began moving back and forth between California and New Mexico via freight train and later in an old van he traded drugs for. She has a lot of fond memories of her travels.
He supported them by pulling burglaries and a few robberies when they couldn't get work. She said he preffered to steal rather than work and they'd only get jobs when she raised hell about thier lifestyle.
They were both raging alcoholics who while they were in New Mexico would drink stolen mouthwash on Sundays to get thier fix.
After he was diagnosed with cancer, they were travelling to Arizona and running low on cash, he stole a woman's purse out of a car at a rest area.
A few hours they were pulled over, the purse was still in the van and they were both arrested.
Fearing he'd die in prison, she told police that she stolen the purse, that he knew nothing about and had nothing to do with it. She also had to convince them he was lying to protect her.
She did 9 months in prison while he went to Arizona to stay with his daughter.
He died 2 monthes after she was released. She was with him.
He'd known time was up and asked her to help him bathe and shave. She helped him into his only suit (it had been issued to him upon release from an Illinois prison years before) and they lay together until he died.
Her daughter in law put her on the street the next day.
She cries for him to this day.
Our 1st year together was the hardest, she was drunk a lot of the time selling my stuff in the street sometimes to drink. We had arguements which turned violent when she stared beating me because I would dump her booze, but I stayed with her.
In a year's time she'd beaten me unconcieous(sp?) with a model car, broke my nose at least 6 times, and used a brass ashtray to fracture my jaw on Christmas Eve (I don't recall right now what I got her :). I only hit her once, before I could stop myself, when she broke my nose one night during an argument over me working overtime.
When she'd sober up she'd marvel that I wouldn't fight her, her 1st husband would hit back, they'd both been jailed in Deming New Mexico several times.
Despite everything, we married in August 1995, it's been a rollercoaster ride.
She's stuck with me through everything, nervous breakdowns, violent rages that did hundreds in damage, everything. And I've stuck with her as well, through the drinking, the violence, even as I complain that being with her is like having a developmentally disabled child. She has a Childlike Innocence and ignorance that I find both charming and exasperating.
She has some poblems that I chalk up to years of alcoholism And drug abuse.
Despite the fact that she's a high school graduate, she functions at the level of a gifted 2nd grader overall.
As far as I know she's been faithful to me. It pains me that I can't say the same.
I wanted to wait to post this until I was in a lucid period because I want you to understand what keeps us together despite the long rants I've posted about her on Fucked Forum and the ones that will eventually (I'm sure) post here.
I love my wife, I really do, and she loves me with a fierce loyalty and determinination that I certainly do not deserve. Truth is I've been quite the fucking asshole!
I met my wife in July 1994, she was basicly homeless, her survival depending on what she could steal. She was a crack smoking hardcore drunk, but I didn't know that yet.
Back then, The Greeter was The Security Guard (this was after I was The Used Car Salesman and The Vending Machine Guy), and the 1st time I met my wife was when I arrested her for shoplifting. I felt something like sympathy for her and kicked her loose before the cops arrived to lock her up, telling her not to come back to the store. I told the police she'd escaped custody.
She began coming around to see me (but never set foot in the store again), after 3 or 4 times I worked up the guts to ask her out (I'd never been a ladies' man and even after more years since I'd buried my fiancee and our son, the pain was still fresh), she agreed.
I picked her up at the 2 bedroom apartment where she was staying with a woman and 8 of her 10 kids(seriously) and thier dog, after just the few minutes I was there, I could plainly see that they treated that mongrel dog better than her. I was freaked by how badly they treated her.
We went out, Hot Dogs and the Jeff Bridges movie "Blown Away", I was alittle upset that she fell asleep during the movie. My mind was still reeling at the way thy were berating and abusing her
She stayed the night, and my judgement was colored further by that.
When I took her home the next day, the people she stayed with were furious about losing thier baysitter/housekeeper/slave for half the day.
She walked me to my truck and I told her to quietly pack her stuff, I'd put her up while she got her shit together.
That was more than 13 years ago.
She was 36 (but claimed 35) when I met her, I was 24 (she claims she wouldn't have gone out with me had she known).
I learned that she'd lost her husband a couple of years prior, and that she'd been living in the streets since then.
She spent most of a year in prison in California for a burglary her husband commited because she didn't want him to die in prison.
I learned that she been an alcohol and drug abuser (pot and crack) since was in her late 20s, but before that she been the guardian of her niece. The girls mother refused to grant her custody and took her away. Less than a year later the girl was dead, the victim of child abuse at the hands of her mother's boyfriend. My future wife began drinking to drown her sorrow, she didn't stop for most of 20 years.
She met her 1st husband in a super market and began moving back and forth between California and New Mexico via freight train and later in an old van he traded drugs for. She has a lot of fond memories of her travels.
He supported them by pulling burglaries and a few robberies when they couldn't get work. She said he preffered to steal rather than work and they'd only get jobs when she raised hell about thier lifestyle.
They were both raging alcoholics who while they were in New Mexico would drink stolen mouthwash on Sundays to get thier fix.
After he was diagnosed with cancer, they were travelling to Arizona and running low on cash, he stole a woman's purse out of a car at a rest area.
A few hours they were pulled over, the purse was still in the van and they were both arrested.
Fearing he'd die in prison, she told police that she stolen the purse, that he knew nothing about and had nothing to do with it. She also had to convince them he was lying to protect her.
She did 9 months in prison while he went to Arizona to stay with his daughter.
He died 2 monthes after she was released. She was with him.
He'd known time was up and asked her to help him bathe and shave. She helped him into his only suit (it had been issued to him upon release from an Illinois prison years before) and they lay together until he died.
Her daughter in law put her on the street the next day.
She cries for him to this day.
Our 1st year together was the hardest, she was drunk a lot of the time selling my stuff in the street sometimes to drink. We had arguements which turned violent when she stared beating me because I would dump her booze, but I stayed with her.
In a year's time she'd beaten me unconcieous(sp?) with a model car, broke my nose at least 6 times, and used a brass ashtray to fracture my jaw on Christmas Eve (I don't recall right now what I got her :). I only hit her once, before I could stop myself, when she broke my nose one night during an argument over me working overtime.
When she'd sober up she'd marvel that I wouldn't fight her, her 1st husband would hit back, they'd both been jailed in Deming New Mexico several times.
Despite everything, we married in August 1995, it's been a rollercoaster ride.
She's stuck with me through everything, nervous breakdowns, violent rages that did hundreds in damage, everything. And I've stuck with her as well, through the drinking, the violence, even as I complain that being with her is like having a developmentally disabled child. She has a Childlike Innocence and ignorance that I find both charming and exasperating.
She has some poblems that I chalk up to years of alcoholism And drug abuse.
Despite the fact that she's a high school graduate, she functions at the level of a gifted 2nd grader overall.
As far as I know she's been faithful to me. It pains me that I can't say the same.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Beware of Falling Lawnmowers!
Sorry for te lapse in posting, but I got hurt at work Saturday and I've been taking it easy.
I was hit in the face by a falling lawnmower.
Yes, a FALLING LAWNMOWER!
There I was minding my own business, when a woman tripped and fell at te base of a 10 ft stepladder. An associate was on the ladder retrieving an unbuilt (boxed) lawnmower. I ran to help, but she grabbed the ladder to drag herself up.
The ladder got jostled and the associate lost control of the box, he must've called/cried out or something, because I looked up just in time to catch the falling mower with my face.
Boom Boom, out go the lights!
The next few hours are well, kinda fuzzy, but I'm told it was interesting!
Apparantly I gave a medic a bad scare by breaking into maniacal laughter during the ambulance ride.
They also had to ask me repeatedly to stop singing while they were trying to do my CAT-Scan (who knew I was such a BeeGees fan, I'm told I know all the words to "Night Fever").
The final tally;
I have a concussion (well no shit doc!)
broken nose
3 broken teeth
2 black eyes (and a partridge ina pear tree!)
broken glasses
I fell on the woman, broke her ankle and 2 of her ribs.
I brow beat the doc into a conditional work release and went home, (it's not like I have a physically demanding job). I was at work the next day.
You must understand that we are broke, and I mean rolling pennies for gas broke.
I cannot afford to lose time from work, Worker's Comp. doesn't pay lost time til you miss 7 days, I like having running water and electricity, our car is too small to live in comfortably.
My bosses are concerned.
I didn't tell my wife about the accident (she was in L.A., 1100 miles away, burying her mother, why give her something else to fret over), when she finally arrived home last night, shegot a nasty shock. She's pissed that I didn't tell her, she wants to kick the woman's ass, she wan'ts to kick my ass, she want's to kick Greyhound's ass for losing her luggage for the second time in 6 days, and getting her home 14 hours behind schedule.
She's had a tough week.
So there you go, Life may be hrd for me, but it's not dull.
I promise t post the stories I told you about before, and I will.
LMK which you want to hear first.
-The Greeter
I was hit in the face by a falling lawnmower.
Yes, a FALLING LAWNMOWER!
There I was minding my own business, when a woman tripped and fell at te base of a 10 ft stepladder. An associate was on the ladder retrieving an unbuilt (boxed) lawnmower. I ran to help, but she grabbed the ladder to drag herself up.
The ladder got jostled and the associate lost control of the box, he must've called/cried out or something, because I looked up just in time to catch the falling mower with my face.
Boom Boom, out go the lights!
The next few hours are well, kinda fuzzy, but I'm told it was interesting!
Apparantly I gave a medic a bad scare by breaking into maniacal laughter during the ambulance ride.
They also had to ask me repeatedly to stop singing while they were trying to do my CAT-Scan (who knew I was such a BeeGees fan, I'm told I know all the words to "Night Fever").
The final tally;
I have a concussion (well no shit doc!)
broken nose
3 broken teeth
2 black eyes (and a partridge ina pear tree!)
broken glasses
I fell on the woman, broke her ankle and 2 of her ribs.
I brow beat the doc into a conditional work release and went home, (it's not like I have a physically demanding job). I was at work the next day.
You must understand that we are broke, and I mean rolling pennies for gas broke.
I cannot afford to lose time from work, Worker's Comp. doesn't pay lost time til you miss 7 days, I like having running water and electricity, our car is too small to live in comfortably.
My bosses are concerned.
I didn't tell my wife about the accident (she was in L.A., 1100 miles away, burying her mother, why give her something else to fret over), when she finally arrived home last night, shegot a nasty shock. She's pissed that I didn't tell her, she wants to kick the woman's ass, she wan'ts to kick my ass, she want's to kick Greyhound's ass for losing her luggage for the second time in 6 days, and getting her home 14 hours behind schedule.
She's had a tough week.
So there you go, Life may be hrd for me, but it's not dull.
I promise t post the stories I told you about before, and I will.
LMK which you want to hear first.
-The Greeter
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